I do not hide much about my life but band stuff i do... Recently i been sad and thinking a lot lately
Some comments by the band mates do affect my a lot but i know is for my owe good and i will work hard for it.....
This is the part of my life where i always got looked down....
I never did something in my life that would really make myself and my family proud at ALL..
When i was in primary school my PSLE result was not good at all and i went to Guangyang Secondary school. During that time there i did not make anything or won much only for the soccer and basketball for my NPCC. My soccer was the worse i worked so hard but no one trusted in my abilities and this really affected me a lot.
Every since i failed my O's i really have not made my parents proud...
My cousin is doing well and stuff i am not comparing but at times it is the fact.
I need to do well in something which i was never good at to prove others that i am the best, i am a very competitive person by nature and that could be my biggest problem
I had never met anyone who look at me and think i have a talent and would want to coach or train me.
A couple of them are : My Family, Paul , Singing Teacher, Jin Poh, some of my Godsisters & Dotes.(There are more sorry if i did not write it here)
But i must proof to others that i have changed and to work hard to be who i am and in Singapore the only way to be respected or to have a say is by making a mark in the things you are doing.
I believe in God and i know my role and plans he have for my but i always stand up stronger, but at times the people around me always look down and say is hard la... Or Ok la do not put too much hope into that.... Plus others like you know go join Singapore Idol and proof it.
At times is just the timing i am in gives so much preasure & and stress... Others will say is the way i look at things but honestly not always is my thinking that makes me so stress.
In band, since the band started i learnt guitar by myself and soon i got to learn singing through my own way and lucky my mum helped me to get my singing teacher..
Which all my band mates did the same learning by themseleves. But they are far better than me now... I tried so hard but once i improve they are much further away, at times i feel i let them down and at times i feel so tired. I tried and tried but sometimes is just not good enough. I really need to get my tone for my singing and i know God will be there. God please give me the strength to sing every song for you and to worship you. The power to touch the thousand that will hear me one day, about your love and about your kingdom.
Cause i know in this world no matter how much i try and try no one will see my effort at all as they only judge by the final result. But only you the creator of this world understands how i feel. Dear God i give my everything to you and for you to see my problems.
I need you as i do not have much friends that trully understands me.... =(
