Ansel's Life Story

Love fails on me.

2011-08-31T12:46:00.000+08:00

Love always is something I yearn for. Something I always needed but sadly it always fails on me and when i am down and hit hard by it the scars and wounds do not heal. I am like a battered wound warrior that needs is a long rest and tons of love and care. I am not having that at all.

=)

2010-11-06T14:09:00.000+08:00

Direction set.. Goals Set... Target Set... Now Just Work hard to everything i would want to live and work for. God your will WILL BE DONE.. AMEN !

The Lies I Tell To You...

2010-11-04T12:24:00.000+08:00

Trust is one thing that science can never proof it's existence and how it can change others decision... Trust is the true to how faith and religion comes into play.

However, trust is the hardest thing you can put in anyone. Family, love ones, wife, husband, children, grand children, friends and everyone.

Trust is something that is can break you into pieces. Not putting trust into people whom are close to you can total turn the relationship into huge doubt.

Guilt kicks in even though you felt that you should not have trusted that person. You felt that maybe you should have trusted that someone for once.

Trust can lose within a sec and to earn it back it will take forever.

I feel useless when i am a victim of trust. How can we solve this problem.

God do speak to me...

2010-09-30T12:09:00.002+08:00

This song and how Burno makes it so personal with himself and the audience. I wish i could have this chance to sing to many others and most importantly to the ones who loved me and was dear and believed in me... God i hope when that day comes, many will turn to you for true love..

Pray for me

2010-09-11T12:26:00.000+08:00

I been waiting and waiting.. I do not know if i am going to be tested by God on what things but i am scared to know a girl whom i love might have lied to me along and made used of me. I want closure by not in a way that i cannot handle it or being hated or can't even be friends. God i pray that you guide me through this with a cheerful heart and that i will know the truth and all. I need you so much God.

Happy National Day...

2010-08-09T14:24:00.000+08:00

Though it is National day... I feel sad,, Some how i just hope that she is thinking about me in some way and that everything is going well for her.. I miss her and i hope that we can chat soon like we used to.

I wrote this song for you..I doubt you would even know that...

When you're down and all drained out
i promise i will be there

When you're crying and feeling down
I promise you my shoulder

When you're quiet it gets me thinking
If there is anything you're hiding

But all will be fine when you say i love u again
Whoa```` The power of love...

When things goes bad please dun frown
i promise i will not let you down

To be continued..

Am I Turning To The Dark Side

2010-08-06T12:03:00.000+08:00

Things have changed... Is been really a tough weeks and months.. I am totally lost in many things and i can't share it with people whom i love to share it to. I just hope that people whom i care will not change.. I really think is hard not to think so much but. Judging from what it seems, I have this bad bad feeling but i know i can't be so negative thinking. I do not know if i have given up or just seem to have died down over this problems i been having.. God only you can help me but i sinned too often.. What can i do ! GOD PLEASE TELL ME...

Year 2010

2010-05-02T15:16:00.005+08:00

Been in Home Team Academy for like coming 6 months? haha... some will say is fast like a blink of an eye..

To me.. hmm... you can say so for the good days in camp , but totally disagreeing to that statement when your having the bad days in camp.. All in all is been really useful for me and i have learned so much.

The mental state i had when i went in was rather too comfortable i guess.. I had more sad moments than happy once.. But i still manage to pull through it all and become stronger. Now i just left 3 weeks and the 6 months in camp and the camp life will be missed.. The lifestyle and all maybe? haha that i really doubt so..

Recently, i got this uncertainty feeling of my future.. Music have been so big in my life. God put that in me and so far not much people believed in my music only a few. Those few have made a big impact in me. Thanks Daddy Mummy and Brother.. Church friends too..

I was thinking how does it feel's like to see the most beautiful ever to you have so much pain and struggles in her life and you can't be there for her.. You have doubts that things would work out but the other part of you says do not give up? I never given up on being her best friend or even more than that. But i starting to understand her needs and her life is more important. I want to the few whom when she looks back in time and felt me always being there and cheering her up. That is my definition of friendship , love and care.

XP your weakness or mistakes can pull you down when your all alone or having a bad day, however, i just want to say this from the bottom of my heart. I willing to be write 89083902589048230948329 over songs just to cheer you up and for you to hear and also to let you know that your not alone and you always have me to count on =)

Things of the future we will not know only God. No matter what is it for us, I believe you and i will be happy. I want the most beautiful girl that was created by God to smile once again and win the millions back with that smile that i fell in love with =D

I was selfish

2009-12-27T15:23:00.000+08:00

It was selfish to put my emotions first... I was selfish to think about my hopes and ideas of what we two may have for the future but never thought about yours. I was too selfish to want to meet you but end up not thinking as long your happy that is what matters most.. I was selfish to think you will be there for me where but maybe we both are not on the same views and expections about this friendship or relationship.. I regretted giving you more worries and hurt in the casuse of knowing me...

Sorry if i was selfish i now will just be good friends and all... You still have a choice with me no matter what... But i will be there for you always. I really do not know when you will see this or ever you will change back to your previous number but i will pray for you always to be happy and have a new beginning ya? =)

God i lift it all to you..

2009-11-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

The doubts i constantly have after some issues about us.. I wonder if it the end or a test that i always thought it will bring us closer. I been thinking so much about you i tried and tried but is so hard. I always pray for you before i sleep that you will have peace at your heart. I feel weird because i really do not know what problems your facing alone. To me i want to be able to share your woes with you, it may sound silly but it really means so much to me to know and be there for you. Or maybe you just need your own time to settle your stuff and your emotions. I really hope we can chat and meet up before i go to my NS on dec8 that is my biggest thing i would want to see or do before i go in. Haiz. To RWXP i miss you so much. God please make me closer to you day by day and to read the bible to find peace within your presence.

NS Letter Recieved !

2009-10-15T13:57:00.000+08:00

After maybe 4 to 5 months of getting fat and all ! NS finally sent me a letter saying i will be serving my 2 Years as a Policeman ! =D Do you think it is cool ! haha Well i am excited as it is something new and all plus at least my uniform are like way way way WAY cooler than the current Army's one ! haha =P

Well recently had a Gig at TPY hub and it was good and manage to pull off the 5 songs without any big screw ups especially with only 2 practices ! haha =) Felt really Good to do my origanal live and it was the first time and i hope most people liked it.

Would like to thank everyone who came and supported me and my band =) This really meant alot to us as a band and all THANKS ! =D (to the special one. You look lovely that day and was so happy to sing for you!

)

My struggles and now my determination !

2009-07-02T13:36:00.004+08:00

Well most people would have known that i have joined recently... Due to the stupid 1 sec of fame that i had from the advertisement ! =) haha that was it really a smile like this =D that is all.... made it through the first round though not much things to share just that the waiting time was so long ! Gosh so long that now if i wait for an hour that means just 5 mins.. Really I meant IT AND TRIED IT ! But was very excited to meet the judges as i never had joined or met them before want to know where i would stand ~

I Did not make it to the next round... Kinda disappointed as i wanted to to let my friends and most importantly family be proud.. I Guess i do not have what it takes..Dick lee says : Your the kind of singer in a band no one will notice. Florence said One part of the song you sang just now you look angry.. Ken Lim said Your just do not stand out.. Guess looks is everything in Idol..

Yup sadly no comments on my singing so hoping it means just the overall was not appealing to the judges =) But was so happy to spent time with my family and seeing my brother supporting me and chatting with my friends and my family too LOVE MY FAMILY =)

NO Worries after my disappointment and complaining deep down that pushed me to go further to do well in my dreams.. After watching One Piece for like 80 plus hours. ! It taught me to be be determined in my goals no matter what happens. I really feel motivated to do tons of stuff just to be at the very best ! =) wish me luck pray for me and see me fly !

This is my new guitar ! =) though is rather cheap but i feel that the tone of the guitar is really nice =) blueish 70s rock clean sound ! Perfect for my songs that i am going to write ! haha

Am I losing my faith you love?

2009-06-01T02:10:00.003+08:00

I been emoing since the last posting due to some problems but i was baptized ! i feel happy and peaceful.. However, I do not know my future i can't share what is coming up in my life there are people whom i told to about it and others that i did not yet... i just want to not stress myself too much over this thingy..

To her i want to say, I'm happy to know you and i put a part of you in my life. Though i should not be doing so. Maybe i'm just feel connected to have someone who somehow likes me for who i am and maybe adores me when i sing. But i know things maybe going further and drifting away. No matter what i do miss you and somehow worried for you. Those moments maybe soon fading away in your mind but to me it was just like the first time i knew you.

I just leave this to God. I love you GOD. I adore you and i will Praise you for being so patient and faithful to me when i am not.. It hurts for me to sin but i cannot stop it. I hate it when i sin.

2009-05-19T18:21:00.002+08:00

My didi ! =) So Cute la

2009-05-02T23:37:00.003+08:00

Thanks kylie for the pictures ! =)

My Wish List ! Greedy Or Not You judge ~!

2009-04-27T14:15:00.004+08:00

1)A New Watch that have leather Strap that is thick and with a big surface to view the time ! Classic !

2)Gosh Xbox 360 Rock Band 2 ! Awesome ! Singing and drums ! here i come ! =P (I wanna ROX !)

3) This is not to make me sound holy but i would love a bible commentary that tells me meaning about the bible in a simple and yet practical way to deal with my life.. (i'm getting Baptized 14 May On my birthday how cool is that ! )

4)Well a new camera lens will surely take my lazy ass up and go around Singapore to do my maybe portfolio or something the close up lens !

5)If i can get this ! WHOA ! Shiok man ! A fender guitar with effects that i can compose new songs not just by chords but experimenting different styles of music ! AWESOME... Beats Rock Band ! haha...

Lastly....

I hope most of the people whom i am going to invite to my 21 st Birthday will turn up and have a great time.... I will have it on 15 may and 16 may two days....

Is weird not to have it on my actual day cause it is a weekday ! ARRRR !! damn so most my friends in poly can't come... SO made it Friday and Sat !

For those who interested tag me on here so i can fill you in the details...

I have planned maybe the first day is more for my church, ITE friends, basketball friends.

Day 2 Is my Gyss Friends Bandmates and pierce and gyss juniors ! =)

I felt lost.. Honestly

2009-04-17T00:02:00.003+08:00

I maybe be cheerful when people meet me.. But deep down after my results in ITE. I starting to be really troubled.

I mean alot of stuff. I hate thinking alot but i can't stop.. Maybe because most parts of my life i was pretty much feeling alone.

I always compare my life with others.. Wait please do not say why am i doing so?

Well is part of our culture as chinese in Singapore....

Since young is been like that.. parents tend to joke and say see your cousin is better... Or telling your aunties my son damn naughty one la... Don't want to scold him already...

This maybe a simple comment to just chat about the updates of their children but.. It really have a huge impact on how we children grow up to be.

I felt a sense of pity about my life story.. Always being the second best and not mastering the things i loved or liked...

This feeling of low esteem and well self pity is very hard to shake off...
Recently in church seeing others coming closer to God did made me feel kind sad as i somehow lost touch of God by my self pity-ness i wished i was part of his plans and i will not be distracted by the hurtful things i had been through so far.. I really feel alone....

When can i grow up...

2009-04-09T13:01:00.005+08:00

I was thinking lately a lot about my past and well her.. At times i wonder if i grew up last of my but more matured would things become less complicated? Would i still be loved by a lot of people.. Would i still be me?

I felt that the whole world now is just looking to look correct and at times you have to be the imaged to others where they will only look up to when your different from who you truly are.....

I quote to myself this " If life is to live according to my life, then who would truly understand what i am living for in my life but not living for others." I felt that besides God who loves everyone and everything for what makes them good, why can't the one you like or loved do that?

And is it ok and alright to feel lonely when the people you need most at that point of them do not seem to be there while you really hope they were. Friends will be there but that feeling of the young and youthful times we had and the bond seems to disappear when we get old just well, becomes memories.

Tons of people say this " People change " be honestly is it me who is changing or the other party?

I just want to think that life is simple but honestly is not when you do not have God.

I believe in him. I long for him. But i feel lonely that i myself cannot stay close to him.

Being alone in my world that was created by him.

If i would be joined by others whom he assigned me to be with i will no longer be lonely....

God i need that people and those people needs me. But i need your words and your wisdom

guide me please.

If i had a tattoo like this ! =)

Ite Sucks...

2009-04-05T17:53:00.002+08:00

Of all the hard work and sweat i gave.... I can't go to poly thanks to ITE... Everything about it is screwed up ! Trust me...

However i will not blame anyone as i think there is no point... They can just Kiss my ass..

But i Want to Congrat all my friends from my class who made it to Poly.... All the best =)

I think i am feeling better and i think God made me understand that i need him in my life no matter what..

God help

2009-03-29T00:21:00.002+08:00

I was selfish to think too much of everything that was taken away from me..

The most sweetest gal i have ever seen which i could not take care of...

My rights as a guy...

Maybe my friends whom i hurt alot recently...

And my everything..

Maybe this is what you wish to do to me

maybe is a good thing i hope

Stripping me down to nothing.........

maybe that is where your saying i need to start a new....

I cannot say sorry to all the ones i hurt and move on..

i feel ashamed and disgusted of my doing....

Maybe this is where i need to say i need you..

I hurts for most part in my life....

But i want you to bring me back and shine

God i have sins that no man can wash for me only you....

A sin too much a man could bear....

Things are better ! =) And I'm Glad i still have you as my friend

2009-03-18T22:20:00.005+08:00

Though we are not meant to be as a couple..... The joy you did brought to me was nice and will be memories that will last a long long time til i am up in heaven ( if God thinks i am good enough). I am happy that i can still be friends with you ! There were times when i walked passed J8 and a basketball court or just simply saw a NPCC cadet your face and smile just happen to come into my mind. I do miss you that i cannot hide but i never hated you at all..... Your the most understanding and the only gf that made me want to be in a long term relationship with. I am just hoping to look forward the upcoming times that we can be friends and maybe be good BFF ! i can be your sister =)

Did i mention i love Boston lega ! I BOUGHT THE 4 Seasons of the show and gosh total price !

DRUM Roll.....

Looks like very little Disc right

Check the amount of disc i have! Speaking of time to kill !
$209.30

I do not know why?

2009-03-16T12:16:00.002+08:00

Things are happy and nice and soon things crashes down

life to me have no more meaning to be honestly i hate it now and i want to just end it totally and go to a place where there is no lies no hate and no anger.

The thing i feared most came true and now i all alone again. No one in my life truly love me once at all. I feel that hurt so much and i do not know if i can really find anyone anymore.

Honestly i hate it and i failed in almost everything i do. i am a no body and i will stay the same forever.

I just want to leave this place where people just seem to always hate me........... Please take me away i really can't stand up anymore and face what all the things in life are coming against me.

I'm sorry.

I GOT THE LETTER !

2009-03-02T11:21:00.003+08:00

I Got the letter for army and for once i am rather scared as i have a very bad feeling i may not be able to study poly before i go NS ! =(

Dun get me wrong, i meant i do not mind going army is just that i rather study first and all. If so then i have no choice and just get the 2 damn years over with =)
Hmm this past weekend was fun ! JM came and ravin too.. And not to forget BABY TOO! haha =) We crap alot and stuff but it felt so fun ! haha great to have all of them in my life !

I will be missing baby very soon! she is going to work haiz.. I honestly will miss her alot....

No more Lousy Sundays ! =)

2009-02-25T13:52:00.003+08:00

The Sweetest Smile I have ever seen ! I MEAN IT = D

Ever since we were together my Sundays were so much different. Not lonely not boring not plain and a day where i always never look forward to always...

But to know that your there and to know how much i meant to you, i really never felt so loved by someone as much i loved for others. Your smile really cheer me up no matter what. The things i have been through in school and stuff your listening ear was there. I now want to be able to be there for you and to show you that how much you really meant to me.
You Been MISSED Terrible every time you turn and say bye. That moment is where i felt lost..... I really never thought angels are there... Til i really met you. Your name and your comfort feels like i was wrong about angels....

=)

School been Sucky hate it now and i really want to grad so damn soon and get it over ! Hoping to go to RP and study before i go NS.....Well but I have to leave this to God and what plans he have for me....

A day after Valentine

2009-02-15T23:25:00.007+08:00

Sweet Sweet ! LOVE BABY's Dimple

Your someone whom i treasure ! = D

Next time you have to piggy back me ! = P

Today that time we had and spend was really one that i never ever had experience before with my other relationships at all ! Laying by your side and just chatting =) Knowing about the shocking stuff that we once we linked ! haha and how much your accompany and care really meant to me !

I want to have you and chat non stop like a 24/7 thingy ! haha Well that is just my dream !
Your present you bought for me was damn surprising la ! heez !

3 CDs that are all my singing teachers ! =) STING , ROD STEWART & TOTO ! WHOA WHOA !haha
And the letter =) was really touching and i really want to tell you that i will be there for you always !
=)
NOW FIFI ONLY LISTENS TO YOU ! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! = X

Your Smile Changed The Way Of Life =)

2009-02-13T12:47:00.004+08:00

Your smile changed my thinking, your smile and your laughter cures those time when i was feeling always sad and lonely. Your Smile & you made me feel like i am a guy whom have good qualities that people do not see in me that i do not know about? Your care that you shown to me, was something to me i will treasure more than the things i used to treasure. Your sweetness makes me able to see that my sweet i eat everytime is not the real sweetness i never tasted before... I THINK I AM FALLING IN LOVE ! =)

No PAIN NO GAIN !

The New HAIR CUT !

2009-02-09T13:59:00.004+08:00

Oh forgotten to update my post and now is my new look ! haha i going army ! = P FROM this !-->

TO THIS

<----

GIG And Production Photos

2009-02-09T12:56:00.006+08:00

The gig to me went rather ok and i felt i can do so much better but anyway the next band got up and sucked so much that we look good =) Thanks that was what i was hoping for ! = P

Oh well things are more clear now i chatted with Denise and manage to clear the things that were stuck in mind and i finally cleared it. The band looks more involved in every way. We need the originals to be done plus a few addition Cover songs and we should be ready for more up coming gigs for youth.

Well overall the unity within the band is better and i felt so encouraged now, then the past few months ago. Thanks Pam for her encouragement and those who have said i had improved in my singing that really made me want to do more and eager to sing more now ! =) Darryl is still thinking about Arsenal and stuff..... Maybe i should take him to See HYT soon! OH plus i missed AH BANG ! NORA NORA ! Project was great the interview came in very handy and now is really falling in place, timing is still alright not too rush nor too much time so kinda what i hoped and prayed for before the project started.

here are the photos of me and the memebers of the the production Group next time is the actual filming in action photos
ME! HAHA the cute PLEASE TAKE ME
HOME EYES !

Jannson one of the few Guys that I can really Chat with! = ) Script Writer

The LIGHTING PERSON AND PHOTOGRAPHER ! HAN HUI!

On DRUGS !
PRODUCERS ARE MOSTLY UNHAPPY PEOPLE BUT PEA IS DIFFERENT

ERM.. Editor are mostly Quiet people.. Really She IS ! (Slience)

Lastly the most important Camera man whom i love to touch !

DO i Look like i am dancing

Nice Night Shot by Han Hui

I shot this with A NIKON CAM ! Weeee Thanks H H

More of the photos and updates will be posted.. printing cool tees for the crew soon !

Why have friends when they are never there?

2009-02-03T22:32:00.002+08:00

I thought life was fine and things were great til the day like today i felt so betrayed.

I found out that everyone have moved on with their lives while i and still left alone in this time frame....

So many names to be mentioned that i do not care anymore. Life was not like this and i really hate it already. No more friends and when i do need one i have to find one and sure the phone will just not be answered at all. No one really really knows how i feel and cannot understand me.

Maybe i am anti social or maybe my friends just left me and they think is fine.. To be honest i tried and tried. Everyone on msn when i say : "Hi " soon there is no replies or hi i am busy chat with you again...FUCK that i am fucking pissed already and guess what there is no next time. Out of like 10 conversation i chat with 2 or if i am lucky that day 1 person will truly say : "Hi" and how is life......

That hurts alot and no one cares let's face it NO ONE!

I think when your single and all your good friends are happy dating and having their other half.....I will be forgotten and no one gives a SHIT . MAYBE THAT IS WHAT I AM TO OTHERS.

School been killing me i want to grad soon but i really do not know what i can do anymore....
Mailed SP for the Course Music and Audio Tech today and got rejected even if my GPA can get in This is what jannson typed for me

Hello, my name is Ansel Chang from ITE Ang Mo Kio.

I'm about to graduate from the course, "Digital Audio Video Production". Based on what I've learnt, I know it's related to the SP course, Music and Audio Technology.

However, it's not written in my list of options for courses I can go to.

Is there is any way I can apply for this course, possibly through DAE or JPAE?

I have confidence in hitting the 3.5 to 4.0 GPA requirement.

I'll be very grateful for a chance to study in SP.
Thank you.

Quick reply later in the afternoon

Dear Ansel Chang

I refer to your email dated 3rd Feb 2009.

The entry requirement for the Diploma in Music & Audio Technology is GCE 'O' level qualification.

I regret to inform you that NITEC or Higher NITEC is not a relevant qualification for admission to the above course.

Thank you for your interest in the courses conducted by the Singapore Polytechnic.

Yours sincerely

Sarina Din
Duty Officer
Admissions Office

I feel hurt that most Polytechnic still do not offer ITE nitec Students more courses that they should.

FUCK LIFE FUCK SCHOOL AND HONESTLY FUCK EVERYONE THAT IGONORES ME TOTALLY FUCK ALL YOU GUYS ! ..!..

CNY followed by Graduation

2009-02-02T10:36:00.002+08:00

Chinese New Year is going to be over damn soon.....

Though i had like 3 days of just simple visiting and receiving a lot lesser for red packets. I enjoyed it a lot ! NONO i never won any money through BlackJack or something but i visited my Uncle whom i have not met like 4 years already due to the problems my mother had with him over my late grandmother.

It means so much to me cause when i was a little boy that place the people the atmosphere was grown in me without fail every new year we will head to his place and everyone will be there to gather. That was the best and i always look forward to that =) This year that same feeling of childhood came back to me. That can be the main reason why i am happy.. Even though everyone have children and boyfriends and girlfriends, but to see them at least brings the memories that i used to spent that bonding with them when i was a young boy brings that warmth into my heart =)

Recently things are just so boring to me as usual but i was able to think more positively...

Oh Adek FINALLY HAVE GIVEN ME my present for Xmas BIRTHDAY PLUS Valentine's day ! Thank you haha AND the most i can say unique gift i ever had ! haha Sephora Hand soap ! = D

And Angela still owes me my previous birthday gift! Gosh

I want to get my ITE done with damn soon so i can chill and look forward to other stuff like the Step Up program-me for Youths. I want to share to students the importance of having a Goal or Dream in life and my pass experience =)

Things to look out for....

1)Next Sunday my band having a gig at Singapore Flyer from 8.30 pm.

2)Possible Gig at Beatty Secondary School

3)Either going to Poly or Army which both are an experience i would be love to look forward to.

4)New songs that i can learn and can finally do more of my singing

5)Singing Lessons and Guitar Lessons most properly could be conducted again ( Cross fingers)

6)Step up programme in secondary schools

7)Lastly my 21 st Birthday = )

Well at least i am looking forward for this year rather then the past 2 years ! ha ha =)

Do tag me people and stuff missed chatting with people and seeing who reads my blog ! ha ha

= P

On my final year project progress

2009-01-15T13:23:00.003+08:00

Well besides have the first day without the camera man and did no shooting due to the weather it was ok manage to have a very more in depth discussion about what we have to shoot and what other stuff we need....

On the second day which was on Wednesday 14 Jan went very well we did more then expected meeting up with a West Spring Sec School children whom we did the interviews we needed and the whole class jumping and saying WE ARE SINGAPORE ! haha cool stuff =) Then moved to esplanade area and did tons of interview with foreigners and MAN THE LADIES FROM JAPAN was damn hot PHEW i and matt were like loving every minute of the interview !

Went home earlier yesterday but the worse was yet to come... My mum cooked noodles for me and i ate it later at night i GOT food poisoning.. On of the worse VOMITED Out ALL the noodles and crap alot.... Tossed around for hours.....=(

God i hope you will take care of me and forgive the sins cause i really want to change and be your right arm to touch others and bring them to Christ in your glory

Photos will be out very soon during the filming

X'mas is Over

2008-12-29T22:53:00.002+08:00

I have not blogged for so long as i do not have the mood to and also i hate my stuff that i was planning to blog about........... Mostly sad and stupid stuff so ya save the troubles

New friends to me get me excited but soon they will just never chat with me as if i was an outcast to them or like a nerd or something..

Gosh i more or less have given up making new ones since my old ones are leaving me too

Haiz all busy with ARMY WORK STUDIES ! while i am free and lonely.. This feeling never goes away...

Things happened during the few months i did not blogged......

1) Bands stuff still have a few problems but more or less getting better I THINK !

2) Had a church camp where i finally had an experience with God that i will make him proud

3) Had a church outing at my condo which was fun

4) Bonded better with my church mates and see more of them growing

5) Bought new games but no one to play with as usual

Yup people who do not understand me will think alot of stupid stuffs and hate for it which i do not know what i can do

But who cares i never ever had a thought to hurt anyone before at all well maybe for people who are childish and maybe mad or just wanna find trouble with me about my past....

Things i learned if i am able to forgive others about their past others should too so honestly i am sorry but i will not do or say anything further more as i think is better to move on rather then some who just seems to put everything to themselves and love to blame others....

I dunno if i should go army or poly first ! help me !! give me ur comments ! PLEASE =)

Gosh when holidays are coming !

2008-11-24T09:28:00.003+08:00

School have been super boring.... Week in and out... Doing practically NOTHING !

I know i can see how many of you guys going ARE U CRAZY I WANT TO GO SCHOOL AND DO NOTHING ! well trust me when your in my shoe i am so sure you will be super duper BORED !

Gosh just stuck in school use Mac's going online and visiting the same old webby's and cracking my brains for more fun websites to go........

Please help me tell me a list of websites that is fun and enjoyable besides porn.....Geez i am really getting bored of this timetable... Where there is no time table at all actually !! = 0

NO BAND NO MUSIC NO LIFE !!

New friends new test

2008-11-18T08:51:00.002+08:00

I made new friends i mean like people whom i know for long but recently went out and started to chat abit more than the usual hi how u been? Crap and i do made new friends too....

Cool stuff but still as what i learned in CG that i have to be ready and to lead a good example and be a great testimony.... Well i do think i am mostly when it comes to my goals and dreams hmm... (i think)

I been having mixed feelings GOSH ! and i really do not know why....I think i been sleeping maybe too late and stuff got some crazy things inside my head when i sleep late....

Oh been hooked to Boston Legal recently and i feel so happy when i can watch the whole 5 Seasons free when i used to check the price for the 1st Season was like 89.90... On offer some more can ! Gosh luckily found the website to watch it = )

I think we should all sit down in a bus and just relax do not feel stress and rush to places where you going to go.... Life do not need extra stress.... But i do no mean BE LATE

Sick and still sick

2008-11-17T12:51:00.004+08:00

Gosh the past few weeks i got a tiny winy cold and i just ignored it.... And look now i am damn sick ! =)

Oh the past weeks been fun though i am sick enjoyed myself and meet up alot of my old friends like wei peng , jian ming and ravin.. Not to forget clement kok hong wen cai yuan zi yilin alex ronnie & kia leng...

And i start to understand more about myself and gaining abit of confidences along the way..... Now i will try to make things fun and enjoyable when things are getting bad.. =)

I will be more positive which is not like me at all but i gotta try in order to be a good example to others and i too will be so much happier and might just cheer others up !

On church wise ! haha went to church on time and had a nice CG this is the first time i did not feel like gosh when is it going to end i trully learned a lot for that meeting ! Thank you lord for giving me the extra movitation to reach out to others and not to be sad about the results as all this takes time and faith in you ! =)

Band wise i rather quiet but lots of exciting things to look forward for... Song writing was not that bad but we need alot of time to make it a awesome song... We do have the sound and quality to make it as one so i am excited... All we need is the whole band to really do it together ! =) and i believe things would work out better.

Things i felt happy are cheryl my ex girl friend is in a relationship again ! =) so happy for her and wish her all the best and long and lasting relationship.

- Singing wise i think i did improve and i finally got some hints on where i got it wrong and if i practice more i will be doing so so much better.. I will do it =)

-Guitar lessons been well... HMMm quiet haha all students have their self declared holidays or work day ! But maybe Glady's could be learning with her friends! One word ! AWESOME!
=)

Is sure going to be nice seeing her again and teasing her ! hope you will not mind gladys!

Things i do in class when bored !

Count the amount of smileys i post for this blog you can see how happy i am ! =P

Life is tough and i am backsliding.....

2008-10-31T23:51:00.004+08:00

I tried and tried and i think is all my own thoughts that are drowning and draining my strength i have in life.....

Church... Friends... Band..... School.... Everything, at times i need people's acceptance but i learned a lot.... That things will not turn better if you just seek for humans acceptances in life as what you get in here is just only sins and lies. I need God but i can't reach to him when i always need him.

At times i feel like a failure that people whom i reached out or really want to fellowship just walk away. The damage i done is just simply i did nothing to continue that fellowship.... and i feel i disappointed God. I lost a lot of the excitement i have before. Cause i do not think i am good enough to fellowship any one anymore due to my sins and my emptiness.

I cry to God but when he is there i forgotten my cries but hungry for the blessing.... I hate this and i want to be a servant of God where people will not only learn but believe in themselves.

I think my life is just like a frog in a well, a frog who talks to anything or anyone who looked into it... Thinking the world out there is so much fun.. When your in the well you see the same thing and you feel all alone... But when your out there too long you want to be make the world be like the well you been staying for years... Feeling comfortable and accepted but sadly this is impossible.....

The world is a place where it works you and not you work on it... Only the dreams and a strong faith ed and fearless person can live in the world and see it through the colors and wonders of God.

I want to that anything that you planned for me to be cause i know that plan will only work out for me and i have to grow and work for it.

God bless me grant me the positive approach in life while i make my way to your glory and back in your caring arms again...

Make it or break it

2008-09-19T02:56:00.003+08:00

I pray to God for this last test to help me to show what you want me to be and do for you.... The band wants to move on to make for the break to the scene.... Rock is something i like but i need your help Lord to show my vocals to be up for it and proof that i am meant to be it for you. =(

I am worried but i know i must not as i am really stuck i need your light and words to guide me back to track and move on and stand up for you...

In this i really pray in Jesus name....

God I need your strength

2008-09-16T00:06:00.003+08:00

I do not hide much about my life but band stuff i do... Recently i been sad and thinking a lot lately
Some comments by the band mates do affect my a lot but i know is for my owe good and i will work hard for it.....

This is the part of my life where i always got looked down....
I never did something in my life that would really make myself and my family proud at ALL..

When i was in primary school my PSLE result was not good at all and i went to Guangyang Secondary school. During that time there i did not make anything or won much only for the soccer and basketball for my NPCC. My soccer was the worse i worked so hard but no one trusted in my abilities and this really affected me a lot.

Every since i failed my O's i really have not made my parents proud...
My cousin is doing well and stuff i am not comparing but at times it is the fact.
I need to do well in something which i was never good at to prove others that i am the best, i am a very competitive person by nature and that could be my biggest problem

I had never met anyone who look at me and think i have a talent and would want to coach or train me.

A couple of them are : My Family, Paul , Singing Teacher, Jin Poh, some of my Godsisters & Dotes.(There are more sorry if i did not write it here)

But i must proof to others that i have changed and to work hard to be who i am and in Singapore the only way to be respected or to have a say is by making a mark in the things you are doing.

I believe in God and i know my role and plans he have for my but i always stand up stronger, but at times the people around me always look down and say is hard la... Or Ok la do not put too much hope into that.... Plus others like you know go join Singapore Idol and proof it.

At times is just the timing i am in gives so much preasure & and stress... Others will say is the way i look at things but honestly not always is my thinking that makes me so stress.

In band, since the band started i learnt guitar by myself and soon i got to learn singing through my own way and lucky my mum helped me to get my singing teacher..

Which all my band mates did the same learning by themseleves. But they are far better than me now... I tried so hard but once i improve they are much further away, at times i feel i let them down and at times i feel so tired. I tried and tried but sometimes is just not good enough. I really need to get my tone for my singing and i know God will be there. God please give me the strength to sing every song for you and to worship you. The power to touch the thousand that will hear me one day, about your love and about your kingdom.

Cause i know in this world no matter how much i try and try no one will see my effort at all as they only judge by the final result. But only you the creator of this world understands how i feel. Dear God i give my everything to you and for you to see my problems.

I need you as i do not have much friends that trully understands me.... =(

God I need your strength

2008-09-16T00:06:00.000+08:00

RED HOT AND FURRY!!

2008-09-08T19:33:00.002+08:00

Things i lo\/e about Elmo he is not only cute but he jokes are smart and simple.... Check this clips ! Oh and if your lucky i can do a Elmo re-\/oiced ring tone for you !! =)

Hi E\/erybody elmo here !! Hope you like elmo clips at the ro\/es show !!

Elmo Likes Wasabi !

Inter\/iew with Ro\/e 2007

Inter\/iew with Ro\/e 2008

My new Future mei ! =) Hopfully

2008-09-05T23:24:00.005+08:00

GAS =) I really am \/ery happy to know you honestly !! Your the one out of two that really brightened my this whole week !! I was moody lonely and let alone EMO!

But today u flattered me so much haha and lo\/ed my photos !! Haha those we like my photos ha\/e great photography eyes ! ok?

Points you said about me !! Lolx ABIT NO SHAME TO POST IT OUT LIKE THAT BE !! IS MY FREAKING POST HAHA I CAN POST ANYTHING I WANT !! BUT NOT NUDE ! =)

1) you are quite optimistic and you are normal!

2)your've got a good character

3)outgoing & fun

4) great personality i guess ^^

5)and you're very good at heart, i can tell from the posts about god

And MORE !

i heard you can tell how a person is really like by looking at the way he treats animals

and you treat fifi really really nicely! =D

I saw your mission trip photos too, and the children look so happy to take photos with you

i like children too! but not many guys like kids, so i guess thats something different about you

Honestly thanks alot you really made my day and i do think God made you come into my life to gi\/e me the confidences i need to work and to obey him ! =)

The Feeling Keeps Coming Back

2008-09-01T00:21:00.003+08:00

The feeling of loneliness is back when i recall the places we go the times we had and the friends i used to hold on so dearly...

"I am really getting lonely as the days goes by....I get jealous when people smile more then i used to.....And i am thinking did i do anything wrong = (

I do not enjoy the life that i always do before all this things that happen.... I really do not know what i can do..

I hate to be alone....

Pandang Videos Up !!

2008-08-31T01:30:00.002+08:00

This is the band's Video performance at the padang... !!

Do comment on the band ya? =) Hope you all would like it !!

Dance Baby Dance 0h Baby Dance!!

2008-08-24T21:25:00.004+08:00

The gig today was a rough one ha ha had a lot of obstacles on the way to it but the power of God have changed it ! It really Rain down like Cats & Dogs and i really do mean it the worse rain i have ever seen in Singapore since i was born can? Really crazy one!Plus I got caught in the super duper heavy rain can? Now i am starting to suffer for that flu and cold ! I HATE TO GET FLU !

Basically the Gig we arrived earlier and had to wait for the other performances to finish for our turn ! ha ha oh anyway we are the closing act for the event ! which was very happy about it as we can show what our band can do !

My dad & brother came today ! I want to sincerely thank : Paul, Bing Fuo, Angela, Daddy , Brother, Denise parents & friends for coming down to support us !!

Miss Hana, Mr Roy the whole round box crew, Ping ping ( the sweet organiser who is very cheery and friendly unlike the other one !!)

For giving this amazing gig for a good cause ! =) Sincerely thank you all =)

There was a band before us performing 2 songs one is Wherever you will go & a Malay song was not bad really ha ha though i told Joan it was like a mat band ha ha !!

Then was us ha ha The intro of the band was rather crappy ha ha as i was freaking nervous can !! ha ha But later as usual my mood to sing & perform live came out of me and many people were dancing and singing along the song !! Paul like Denise's second song Boston ha ha She really sang well and i teased her on stage ha ha

Who find Denise tan siew ho Cute !! HA HA and want to take her home ha ha she is just like a teddy bear ! And many people raised up their hands OK minus away Denise parents got about maybe 7 people i think !

The main thing that really warmed my heart was these two things

1) My dad and brother came ! I was surprised as i did not think they will be able to make it and when i was going to sing my song just in time my dad waved at me ! =) on stage i was very HAPPY !! WAHAHAHA

2) Seeing the more unfortunate people who have handicap in their lives dancing and calling their friends to come in front of the stage to sing and clap along was really !! I really mean this i nearly cried and was humbled by that scene.

Thus giving me more strength to work hard with my band and going for more gigs and doing more for charity and the needy......

God have spoken to me and i have faith in him and i will not waste my time on thinking if it was mend to be but rather what should i do now to honor him !

Thank you god for everything i love you guys and Client Number Nine

( i can see the bond we have in the band after this few months of joy together as a band and as friends) I simply love u guys !! =)

Got caught in the rain twice now i am suffering from flu and cold !! But is worth all the trouble of seeing others enjoying themselves

Everyone COME ON DOWN !! =)

2008-08-21T20:08:00.002+08:00

This Sunday will be a special day to me and my band ! = ) the gig that we been waiting for is finally here !! I can't believe it haha ! I very excited and you know a tiny weeny bit nervous haha do not know how the crowd would be like and the number of people going to watch !!

And i am not sure what bands are going !! Hmm well all i know is i am going to put up a show !! Sadly not too sure how many of my friends are coming.. haizz forget about ravin i don't think he ever remembers at all haizz... well anyway do come down

Info: Padang events starts at 10am to 3pm (my band time slot is 2pm -2.30 pm) firework festival !!

National Day

2008-08-10T13:08:00.002+08:00

Well the only good thing about National Day is that Jin Poh is part of the army contingent so i am happy for him as he seems excited about it ! =)

But haiz saturday without RB or band is sure a big blow man haiz.....The gig is really coming very soon !! 24 of August can !! And i really hate the stupid song Wake up call i have to do for the gig haiz..., Even the band do not like the song really ! Damn wasted one song for the gig...

Anyway i am scared of the gig because of this song but sadly i do not have a song that the band would love to replace wake up call.... Man i should really listen to more music which i am actually mostly on 98.7 Fm but haiz too late to do a new song now maybe be a bigger risk i must say.

I also wish Wei Peng to have a great weekend his first weekend out of the BMT haha... Surely he must have slimmed down alot ! haha which is good news for him he wants to slim down.

But was rather happy to have a nice family dinner once again i really enjoyed it. I want to treat my parents to a movie screening soon like money not enough 2 though is lame but i think this is the only few shows that may interest them =) so got to save up money !

Standing On The Top

2008-07-30T18:41:00.002+08:00

If i was on the top of the tallest building now what would i do?

Jump down and very sure i have ended all my problems and loneliness i have inside?

Take a deep breath and see the world from the top and remember how the feeling is like and wake up in my life trying to be the top again?

Hmm this two are options in my life.. One step and all ends or all begins...

I want to know what is the best that God have to offer me.

I know i will be foolish to jump but risky to push on and might get even more hurt?

If i have faith i would thanks God for the chance to see the world and go back down and work up to see that feelings that God wanted me to be a History Maker in my life and others...

I have been thinking....

And i really am tired...

I need the fresh air i breath everyday when i was not so tired like this....

If i can i would be the star in other people life and help them to build their dreams which God wanted them to have...

This Joy is very different and hard to come by...

But for all the gift God have given and tested me...

How can i give it all up now?

I WANT TO RISE BACK UP

Be who i was that God made me...

I want to be the army that God needs now for this sinful world

A place where Sins are the air and devils are the lords....

But there is a King who is has the power to kill over all but chooses the path to let freedom be the
line between Good & Bad...

For this i thanks God =)

I Want to be part of the HOLY ARMY !

Ansel have risen back and beware Sinful people i will shoot the shit out of you guys that you have no idea what is a sin is and never will anymore !!

Bleeding Inside

2008-07-25T22:19:00.003+08:00

The times are getting harder without talking to you at all.... I wonder how have you been and have you totally forgotten about me...? I can tell your with your friends hanging out....

For me? I don't have anymore recently i had a lot of anger inside of me and i shouted at Jp..Though i really did not want to but i really was lost and sad. Deep down i miss the days i can chat happily with you and knowing your always by my side....

I respect your decision but at times i really missed you. The places we go and the things we did still remains in my mind. I so lost without you but i been relying on God this few days and i feel better.....I am not doing this for you but i really want to grow and get back to God... And i believe God will give me an answer...It may be good or bad but i am going to accept it....

I am sorry JP i really lost my mind that day... The stress in school, friends and her really hurt me alot and affected me to a point i have changed

But i am picking myself up again with more quiet time with God telling him my problems and praying for everyone....

God had made plans for me since i was born and plans after i leave this world and i want to touch and draw everyone to him as he changed me and my life is lived for him.

I have sinned and i am sorry!

2008-07-20T20:14:00.002+08:00

The days have past and i have not change....

I really want to but i can't

i pray to God for forgiveness i really love him

I want him to know i care of the things i have done

But i need to change and walk to him

I'm sorry for everything i have done

Dear lord free me from the devil and hold me firm and let me

Be you child whom listens and love others the way you always loved me

Still In queue

2008-07-17T00:42:00.004+08:00

I thank you for the silence between us......

This is better for me and you

The times we had seems so fun

though is short but still a memory for me

I was selfish and young

The joy which i thought was laughter are just scars

Scars that can only be healed by God

The things we said were things we can't do
IS hard not to see and talk to you
For that i know i have sinned to you
but i must hear from god in order to be with you

Darryl's Day out

2008-07-09T20:24:00.010+08:00

Darryl's Birthday was on 5 July and we celebrated on 6 haha !! But we had lots of fun !! The whole band came and ate at fish & cold ! haha... Oh well anyway this are the few pictures i took and Pam took ! Maybe blur but is ok it was very fun !! Do enjoy the photos ya?

Remy Jumping for JOY !

Me being GAY!

JP Being BENG !

Nise being Erm ? EGG cited !!

Botak Being JOAN !

Darryl Being CHICKY!!!
]
The group Joan, Denise, Pam,Darryl,JP, Remy & D'Wee

JP Relaxing

BORED?

ON DRUGS !

Joan & Pam

The Band !!

COOL HAIR !! BUT GONE !!

Ah Beng and Punk Gal !

Be4 Joan Shaves the day !!

EGG_CITING !!

Looking back my past

2008-07-06T01:28:00.003+08:00

Today i felt sad and happy but it was at this point that i started looking back on my life...
From sec school life to now.. Though there are many things i wish to change and redo but i am very happy and blessed with what i have now... My life, my friends, my church mates, my god sisters...Etc..

I learn that when helping others you help yourself too ! I look at others and i learn how to be an example to others and how to cheer others up... My life always been smiling my hurting inside..

So i have to be a happy guy thinking that i can make a differences in my life and other people's life =)

I i really wished the friends that i was close before would be back with me... My god sisters too val.. Tel... Zoey...Zoe.....Angelina....Rebecca....and many more those times you listened to my problems really gave me the confidence i have today...

Well though you guy will not be reading this but i really truly miss you guys so much.....

Times have changed after sec sch my closest friends i have now are darryl, jin poh, remy, denise, joan, cheris, ravin, wei peng, jian ming maybe janson? This are the people who really know and understand the things i done..
Sadly many have come and go but not knowing that everyone played a part in my life. And the hurts you cost in me really hurt me....But i would be so happy to forgive and wishing to be forgiven, If things was so much easier.... From the things i have done wrong i am sorry. My life is not perfect but with you guys around you really shape it up..... At times during night i wonder do anyone think about me and smile before they sleep? Well God surely do but other then that who really do? My family ? My friends?
To me i just want to be remembered for the good things and people can smile and really come and ask me how are you in a really sincere way and really meaning it...Haiz those thoughts have driven me into a world of loneliness that i had being in.....

The peanut game

Amk park near the Mac

My works

My mission trip was fruitful

2008-06-29T22:49:00.008+08:00

Bored and not wanting to say much been rather lonely this few days and the thought of going back to school where there are not much friends makes me sad..... =(

My mission trip photos..

Through this trip i learn t, to be a better person you must step out of ur own self and look at the people around you. I have seen the up and downs in my life but i know that there is someone always there for me and willing to pull me up when i am down.. I will change and make others who are in trouble be happy again.. This i promise you my dear lord. =)

The wonders you do many have seen but only your words and love can touch everyone not me not my church, but only you dear lord

Things People say !

2008-06-01T01:11:00.002+08:00

Honestly today was a nice but a little less lively than before.. No band jam no Round Box... Things i always look forward in a new week ! Well i had a great day with Jian Ming, Wei Peng & Ravin those where the good old days of Winning eleven Tournament ! And I have declared the WINNER for once again And Ya let me say this : "Benfica Who??? " haha

I met the "Band" (without funny and cute denise, Crazy WHAHAHHAHA Joan and Sayang sayang)
we went to Esplanade and found out that the band playing at the waterfront was more of a Acoustic Guitar band so was kinda boring... Most importantly we were hungry !! Haha went to eat Prata and went to Timbre... We finally saw a band playing at there for once..!! Never been there before haha but honestly love to be playing at that place for the people ! Though the stage is super small !! haha

After the bands first set of songs we decided to go to look for more bands playing a bars or pubs.. We came across this Bar called "Actors" Jam Bar ! You can go and jam on the stage just like that..! But i was F****ing Pissed by the service there... No lights and keep asking us to order drinks, when we said later we will order... They keep coming every 15 mins to ask you guys want to order drinks !

I was like WTF you do not understand by LATER !! We asked if we can jam and the guy said yes ! But here is the F***ing thing... He added but you all must order drink in order to jam... I was like ok no wonder the whole bar is empty !! Really i have not seen a single customer coming in to your LOUSY and Dark bar where the service is more like forcing you to buy a drink !! F*** You all Never ever going back to the stupid place ever again !!

I want to jam new songs and do new things with the band since we have cleared all the major Gigs !! More songs more gigs !! haha Please do something next week i am very hungry for more !! ( That is what she said)
X P
Happy Birthday to Yilin, Jacq Yet lim & Rachel Yee mun !! Wishing you all the best for your everything !

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY GIFT !!

2008-05-26T14:30:00.002+08:00

I was thinking that my birthday this year was like erm..... One of the crappiest of all as on the actual birthday i was at home sleeping.... But was happy that i had spent more time with my family...

Thanks to sayang she really made my birthday one of the most unforgettable one... honestly !! During that period i was in a very bad mood over school problems and stuff.. I was really feeling pissed at a point that i start to hack care already. Really some people who seems to understand that knows how badly i reacted to that. But last saturday, We had a band outing and i meant the whole band plus Pamela & Cheris !!
I was like super duper happy ! Having her beside me i also feel happy and i also can be my very own self....

I was like feeling so lonely at first cause after the morning jam Darryl. Pam & french went to see Red Rain ( sorry pam i was not able to join as i need to go church i have skipped too many times already) Leaving me and Denise Tan Siew Ho aka snuffles ! haha
We had a damn expensive meal at *********** bugger don't even want to mention the stupid fast food name. Then at 1.15, Denise said she need to go to meet her friends. Then i was like ok lor..Sad sad i called sayang and asked where is she, she was late and she just told me she needed to buy something important for someone which at first i thought it was me but again she already bought me my birthday gift already. So i thought maybe is a girlfriend thingy and was like well ok then... i waited at church and had a good chat with David until sayang cabbed down to my church i ran out of church can? haha cause i scared she will be lost !! Cause i also explain things like very confusing for her ! ha ha

Oh well fast forward we met up with the band and i introduced Denise to Sayang and they even acted that they did not know each other very very well !! we had a nice but very expensive meal at hooters !! Sayang is not impressed by the CUP size of the girls at Hooters ! haha well then we went to Harry's and enjoyed the Jazz music until 11.15 we had to leave and someone pushed a bag of stuff to me under the table at first i thought it was like Darryl's one or something but i peeped inside it was a FREAKING CONDENSER MIC CAN !! ALL THAT I WAS ALWAYS DREAMING ABT AND LATER FOUND OUT IT WAS SAYANG WHO ASK THE BAND TO CHIP IN FOR THE GIFT ! I was honestly touched by Sayang and the band who was like being a family thingy ! =)

Now i must think of a part two present for sayang !

Honestly thank you

Dear sayang !

Darryl and Pam

Jin poh and French for the time spent with me.

Denise for chatting with me and helping Sayang to buy the Present

And Joan for coming down for the dinner and being crazy !! Keep being crazy love that ! haha =)

Craving For MORE !! =)

2008-05-19T00:09:00.003+08:00

We did the gig well !! Anyway we took some videos for you guys...! The whole band played super super well ! Denise sang Boston so well , everyone clapped ! haha... Joan , Jin Poh , Remy & Darryl enjoyed themselves alot !! Me haha i did not screw up at all !! I never went off key but only for One Way for one part...!

When you say nothing at all

I Shot The Sheriff
|

Boston

Every Breath You Take

There are even more on youtube all thanks to dear Pamela for taking the video & Denise for posting it up !

Well we are all hoping to have another performance soon ! Do contact me or tag me if you have a gig which needs a BAND !! =)

JOAN BE CRAZY AGAIN !! HAHA I LOVE IT !!

Happy and still happy ! =)

2008-05-13T21:10:00.002+08:00

My pre birthday dinner+my Mum's mother's day, we went to pastamania !! Not a true fan of that but is okay... I believe that having a nice dinner together is the most important of all... Honestly i was very happy today ! My dad and brother was telling me that they are planning to buy for me a SLR camera !! COOL ! Well i was thinking of a PS3 but is expensive when i buy my games so ya !! =)

Today i saw my mum holding my dad's hands on the way down from the stairs i honestly never seen them doing that but it was really sweet =) weirdly to couples haha one in front my parents and behind is my brother and his girlfriend so weird you know haha like I'm the only single one !!

I am really excited but yet scared about the may 17 gig ! What if i screw up ! Man in front of 600 people i will be super ashamed !! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Happy Mothet's Day...!

2008-05-12T00:19:00.002+08:00

Weird my mother is not at Singapore for mother's day...!! Well she is at Batam for a singing competition ! Well all I can hope for is for her to win ! =)

Stuff don't seem to go my bands way at all... CHIJ GIG is can canceled due to some really stupid planning...

1) A gig with No Amps?
2)No key board?
3)A shitty time slot at 12.. Where we asked for 2.30 onwards
4)Favoring of other local bands?

Worse Ben & Jerry's?
1) First time i heard a small crap place need 80 to 100 songs ? ( where you most prop need to play only one hr or less?

2)Wanting only acoustic performances?

3) Hot Girls working there but F****ed up mangers !!

Things that made me sad...
1) Saw shi pei ( my very first steady relationship) at Yishun mrt and she said "HI"
hours later she called me when she is home and told me this " "Erm ansel can you don't contact me anymore? Cause i told my boyfriend i met you..And he asked if i(shi pei) still got sms or call once in awhile? She said yes ! Her boyfriend later said can you don't contact him anymore? that is why she called me asking me not to call her or even sms her anymore... ! Worse she said we are still friends" ! Ya friends who don't contact are not friends !! really I find it stupid i dun meet her often at all.. I never contact her like a damn Bloody long time and she ask me not to talk to her anymore ! What a boyfriend you have man..! Worse it was me whom i help you took his number and made you guys a pair... And your boyfriend will be jealous of me for what !! Stupid people...

3)Sayang was sad and she have been having a rather bad time tons of works and not meeting for a long time soon to have affected me. Worse i was not able to go and see her baptism ism today...I have jamming :( ( not that i hate to go with the band)

4)Band wise most of the plans don't seem to work out only leaving the May 17 gig.. I like that gig a lot really 600 people is surely a lot for a first time band ! But wanted to go for the CHIJ gig for the youth and the new songs i worked so hard for... ( No more gigs left after the May 17 one.. Hoping for more)

5)After May band will be super quiet trust me... Darryl is going overseas and so is denise... Jin Poh have army stuff which is going to be busy... French (benny) will most properly going to study hard for the O's. Joan and me left for Round Box... So we can cancel it ?

6)Not going to church at all for 3 weeks not only made me feel bad but i lost touch of my love with god.. Losing my temper easily ! I want to change for the better !

7)School have been very bad all my group mates of the previous project Love 101 have more or less lost interest...Only leaving me Janson and Matt... The others seem well busy with work and other stuff? I feel angry when young people go to work and just skip school for money where they do not need it for emergency stuff...

8) Been very bored at home no one to chat with and play with.. Honestly i regret buying the tennis racket i have not used it at all...

Things that cheered me up a little bit..

1) Esplanade bands was rather disappointing which means my bands hope of performing there in the future is going to be much much higher...

2) Next week will be fun going to CHIJ Tpy to see friends and bands with my bandmates... =

3) Ravin and Wei Peng maybe staying over...(Darryl is set to stay over after the performance on 17 may

Looking on the ratio you can see clearly that my bad stuff are much much more than the good ones...

Sadness i making me feeling more left out ! And i starting to not give a damn about my birthday at all.... =(

Time is Near

2008-05-08T19:08:00.002+08:00

The gigs are coming soon and i mean really soon !! is like next weeK !! I'm scared not because of the crowds but the songs i am going to do... ! Their hard for me as some i am not able really sing the main melody !! Damn really scared now... But i will try my very best i believe god will help me out with the rest ! =)

The are times i wonder do relationships change people for the better or the worse... My classmate seem to become worse... Not coming to school and be very late for class and stuff... At times i wonder what is the best age for them to know that studies are important?? Well anyway i do not care much anymore is their life and if they want to screw their lives i can help either...

My birthday is coming up but i really don't want any big parties really... A nice small gathering saying Hi to all my friends and godsisters if any of them remember or still care for me at all? Haiz... I just want to be remembered that is all... But most of them seems very very unlikely they would even sms or call me wishing me a Happy Birthday....

Lowest Point in life

2008-05-01T20:48:00.003+08:00

Today we had jamming for our may 16 gig at chij tpy... We met Ad again haha man old man good old times and she still remembered us =) that was really sweet to know anyway forgotten to bring Darryl's effects... Crap need to waste Darryl's money to let me take cab home.... But i with Remy and Ravin took train back to my place first then from there we took cab down to BOON !! Well felt sad for the taxi driver.... He forgotten to press the meter and we got like $4.00 cheaper then expected... =)

Well it started off well, I and Denise was very hyper but after singing her song Better than me by Hinder, she was tired haha cause the song was too high for her.... But she did well ! =) Don't worry ya? haha Now is my turn Open your eyes by Alter Bridge i was like thinking should be easy until i remember the key for singing the super high part which is the bridge was really CRAZY !!

I had only one song to sing for the whole jamming session. There were other songs i need to do like When the stars goes blue.... But i suck at harmony and i really feel useless.... Songs like Boston where I tried to sing before i cannot get the last part.... Denise learned it !! And i felt i never gave the band my very best cause all this songs I was told to learn before but halfway was not done.... My singing for youth songs have been really really hard for me.... How i wish at times i can sing or even scream like how the crazy Youths do at DXO !!

I felt left out after my songs cause I could not help in Denise singing i will make it worse if i tried
but i rather not.... =(

I felt like if I was out of the band? They can do much better than me.... Cause my guitar playing have stopped... I just sing.... Denise can sing too she have her tone and most people will agree she is good !! =) Which i am glad to have Denise ! I'm not jealous i just felt i cannot do much more for the band,.... Oldies i can ! but Youth songs haizz..... I tried and tried but cannot get it right....

But after leaving the jamming i was back to normal self... Cause i will never take anything from my band problem into my close friend friendship i have with Darryl =) I love him.... The crazy and whacky man,... My brother when i was always hurt....

I will try to do my best and i hope i will do my best and proof to myself that i can sing well and people will look up to me !!
God i need your love and your strength and the will as i am as fragile as I'm a sinner.... I will lift my eyes to the the maker of the mountain I can't climb....

Your the maker and i need your strength !!

Drawing that line in my life

2008-04-27T10:41:00.002+08:00

This week at service was like a wake up call for me- Pastor David have talks on relationships and sexual issues between friends or BGR. There are stuff which i will be guilty of no doubt i will not keep it to myself as David added that lying is sinful even white lies are still lies ! And i will not keep it to myself anymore

I confess that i am not a great person at all.. I lost my virginity when I was 17 & i regret it big time...I was curious and i wanted it for that dear lord I am deeply sorry...I just want to change and break this self of mine which i am not proud of at all... Is hard really but i know that nothing is impossible with the lord...

I have other sins like i have anger , jealousy & revenge all this are wrong and i really want to draw this moral lines in my life to be able to help and shine my light on others whom maybe be having problems....

I will do my best my Lord and i lust for your love !

=( Sorry to all whom i have offended please forgive me

Just a few words

2008-04-22T15:47:00.003+08:00

Mood= Down rather sad

Singing= Not too well

Studying= Still doing ok but tons of questions

Laziness=To the Max

Room Tidiness=Pure 200% messy

Band Progress= From 20% now slowly raising to 45%

Things to do= Guitar lessons, Help Florence find a place & job to stay

Things Planning to buy= Microphones & Ear Piece

Things Planned for this week= 1) Thurs meeting Darryl to collect O Cert 2) Sat Band & House Warming party part 2

Confidenence or Cockyness?

2008-04-14T16:42:00.002+08:00

Just when you thing your the best or being come something or someone seems to humble yourself down... For me i thought my singing was much much better but after Pamela & Anna came they really don't think i was good... Haiz at times i feel that i have let down the band and i'm not going further than anyone in the band !!

For example -Darryl has became so great on lead solo for guitar?
-Denise is singing much better most people would say she sings nice?
-Joan have classes for bass and she sure can play some great bass?
-Bensy is like the talented young lad whom seems super great on keyboard & showed that soon he is able to play guitar too!
-Jin Poh too have a great drum teacher whom is famous and see great potential in him ?

My bands is the best i assure you guys we need a chance and i will promise we can make it that is how much i believe in my band !!
But for me i don't know thinking back i was not really that great after i stopped learning guitar and it seems that my singing was better. However the number of times me impressing people are so much lesser then i thought !

The amount of talents of singers in Singapore to me was very little and not great but there are more and more i have seen are really mind blowing... Naive me i guess i also want to proof others wrong but maybe i must understand i may not be that good at all.. Or I'm just not good in short....

I have to thank people like Cheris (aka Sayang) Remy, Jin Poh & Densie who tried to confirm me about my singing but really I do hope i was that good but at this time, I'm really thinking was i right or wrong from the start about how great i sing or rather should i not sing anymore just play guitar or something ?

Today lest's talk about stupid taxi drivers!

2008-04-05T00:27:00.002+08:00

I am so pissed of all the taxi drivers that drove pass me today thinking that I do not have enough money !! I swear to God you guys will have no customers for 3 years and your cabs will break down everyday !! CURES YOU evil drivers just too proud to fetch me and my friends !! Curse you all !! POOOOOOONUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT & BUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGER !!!!!!

Had a $27 SEAFOOD buffet HMM!!! nice but most of the food was nice had crabs, prawns, sotong and lots more ate really a lot today !!

Came home and crapped right away !! And it stinks ha ha All the different tastes = to very foul smell !!!

And YA MY SAYANG ELMO MISSES YOU!! WANNA MEET YA SOON AND WE MUST GO SHOE SHOPPING & SUNGLASS SHOPPING !! HAHA

Cumming never felt better !!

2008-04-03T23:24:00.002+08:00

Been Emo since the past week but after i gotten my results i was happy !! I got All As for my exams and i got a GPA 3.517 so I have a great chance of getting to a poly !!

This sat is near and i can't wait !! YEAH !! HAhah singing has been a passion ever since i started to like it.... This week i want to improve after hearing other people singing MAN THERE ARE REAL GREAT TALENTS in Singapore too dun play dun play ok?

Anyway had a great time with Cheris today haha was crazy and lame but HAHA that is SO ME !!
We went shopping and went to Popular and had great FUN can? haha we played Elmo toys and she loves cookie monster !!! Haha Went around the arcade twice to see AH Lians haha YES DENISE AH LIANS haha with super short shorts and tons of make up making them looking like clowns !!

Well saw two great videos on Youtube

This is a very funny film listen to what arnold have to say about pumping iron !!

And check this out i'm trying to learn how to sound like that !!

I HATE THIS !!

2008-03-30T16:53:00.002+08:00

Been weeks since i have updated the blog do to the loneliness time i had i been very very sad again
Not knowing why.....

Things i can't say on the net but i will not name names...
In my church people things i'm a flirt i love girls and i will look for one a go for another

At first this do not bother me and i was still joking about it but it is sad to say that i really tired to change and I'm honestly not totally what someone others think i am i church i love to just joke about it but really I'm not and if you do think i am one your really don't know me and i am really getting PISSED F***ERS !!

There is someone in my church which is worse than me !! Someone whom plays with people with feelings and goes underground... Honestly i know who the Fucker is but I'm not going to say who why??? That someone is a higher rank person and he is not be a Man by telling the main people in church what he had done and still acts like he is innocent !! FUCK YOU you really is worse than i thought you were and u freaking making me to tell everyone !!

Stop your stupid COLD jokes just to pick up girls... The person have motives everytime and seems to ablr use some things he did as a excuse to cover his fucking sinful ways !! You are worse than any bastard i have known ok?

And my church people really do not know what FUCKED UP THINGS HE DID REALLY!

The one whom you guys think i am is more like that someone ok? So don't FUCKING PUSH ME i Really do not mind going to another CHURCH honestly if there is Fuckers like that in church looking for Girls then the church is more like a red light district for him

YOU ARE A REALLY FUCKER
I WILL NOT WANT TO TALK TO U ANYMORE & BE NICE UNTIL YOU TELL YOUR THINGS YOU HAVE DONE THAT HURT MY FRIENDS...!

No mood to post pictures that no ones to see anyway no one comes and read my blog what for

I NEVER FELT SO PISSED AND I REALLY WISHED THAT PERSON WILL JUST DIE !

The Bonding...

2008-03-16T22:03:00.006+08:00

This Week have been very fun ! Finished my exams and I can have more time to spend with my Band and friends ! Ha ha upcoming gigs and more ! ha ha Furthermore the band is doing better and are fired up ! Haha Yup so far so good !

On Sat we were at Round Box and the second Band never come so more JAMMING !! ha ha We tried lots of songs !

1) Wonderful Tonight
2) Stand By Me
3) Every Breathe You Take
4) When You Say Nothing At All
5) One Way
6) Thank You Lord
7) Our life
8) *(I Shot The Sheriff)
9) Higher
10) Jazz Song (unkown)

Backup songs

11) Let It Be
12) To Love Somebody
13)
14)
15)

After that I went to my church like for only 30 minutes and i left cause Darryl's church starts at 5pm so we went there ! Then we have a treat from Darryl and it was for Joan and Denise for there Post Birthday !

This is Darryl with the lemon in his mouth !!

FIFI !! Super Cute La !

Facing the Giant !!

2008-03-09T19:26:00.002+08:00

This week have been Fun but is short lived ha ha ! The Morning Jam at Roundbox was short ha ha. Most of our band-mates were late and so we started later and also ended earlier, but hey the jam we did at first was not good.However later part the band warmed up and did much better the other band seem impressed again i think haha...

After that we went to have lunch made a very nice band bonding this week the lunch we saw special guest appearance !! ZAKI !! YES At J8 Looking fatter and more Crazy as ever !! so glad the band can have a glim's of how Darryl and me thought of the Strawberry !! haha Soon after we had of to church my church indeed haha been a long time i was there so felt very lost but still Paul is always there smiling and joking around !! And ya Steve Nicole was there man he is damn good on guitar how i wish i can be his student haha I'm sure i will kick lots of people Arse with the solos like his !!!Denise first time coming for a Christian service haha and she sang Face down and Jaded surely the people we say she can sing !! ha ha but we quickly rushed for Joan's church ha ha For a movie night !!

Free Food
Free Drinks
Free EVERYTHING ! haha

Ya Joan's church was cool the youth do look more younger than my church's !! ha ha but the girls was nice ha ha just kidding !! I really changed my ways ok?.....................................................................................................................................................................
(Pure silents) Why in the world no one believes in me !! Well is okay there is always one who does God =)

The movie was great !! i cried a couple of times ok? is not PUSSY haha but it really rebuild my relationship with God and how I look myself in front of him. The sins i did from the first to til now he still stood by me and never gave up on me ! I LOVE YOU Lord....

After that we have DID the long awaited FREE PIZZA !! But at that point of time my stomach was feeling weird ha ha Lots of sounds seems to be heard !! haha

The band know what i did ha ha i used the pillows as a silencer !! Like in those movies but NAH it did not really worked that well X P

Over all i know the lord is telling me to give my everything to him & i will not to prove to my band i changed but is for my faith to grow my Love for him... All i want is God to make use of me to reach out to the youths & may I be able to write songs and praise you through my heart not by lips All this i ask in prayer Dear lord !! Ahem =)

Do look out for the movie for young Christians the filmed is called Facing The Giant
Is about American Football and how the coach put the words of lord into practice !
Most interesting thing of all is The actors of the film was from the church in America the film was made by a church and i was touched by the words and the faith the coach had in his life !

Hate the feeling of being alone

2008-03-04T23:40:00.002+08:00

This few days after all that happen it seems to have a very quiet feeling which i seem to hate... Well this week seems very gloomy guess my mood was following the strange weather cold and wet ? Hope i was better but nope not at all, most stuff don't seem to go my way but is ok i believe in the God maybe there is something more then meets the eye!!

Soccer for the Sunday seems to be canceled due to the on going rain, but is ok i had a rather fun catching up time with Ravin, Jian Ming and Wei Peng. MAN i never won a single match on my winning eleven soccer game !! ha ha but is ok i will train harder !!

This few weeks I been trying to be a host on Television for a chef show haha i love being like Gordan Ramsay HA HA !! All the Fuck Me ! and Bloody hell.... I must stop getting those from my brain to my mouth ha ha is hard but i will try ha ha... Makansutra Raw too is a great show though i love the Fuck me a lot Seetoh is more of a Singaporean going to restaurants eating good food with a simple singaporean feel ERM Yang Pa Lin Sir Dup !!

Well I'm hoping my movie will be a success though most people still do not understand the story... I really felt upset when people say that i really do not know why but i do feel hurt...Maybe I'm taking it too hard but i really tried my very best for this film to work out... But it seems Love 101 maybe not be able to go for a Singapore film competition if most people do not understand the story haizz...

Lord i ask for your guidance to let me know what you have installed for me in my church and how to touch others through your word... To me i love doing my singing to express it out to others but I need you to confirm that for me... I ask all this in your graceful Name AHEM...

Sleepless and lonely nights

2008-02-24T19:21:00.003+08:00

This past two days have their very ups and downs... As the band jam i always look forward to on sat's seems near, you can always see how happy i am but i have be saddened by some news...
Estee seems to be upset over her Ex boyfriend stuff which i have not much info about ! As she seems to just hates chatting with me about it cause she was angry. But the thing was i did not know what was it about and she just messaged me telling me that she do not want to chat with me or keep in contact with me anymore... Honestly at times i have doubts that i may have broken her heart if i never really seem to try to get to know her more. Due to the past relationships i have i was just trying to see if she really loves me the hugs and cuddles she gave me i really loved it....

Never would i say that i felt so loved since my last relationship.... However it seems like she have some problems that i was not there for her and i felt really sad as i was beginning to like her even more deeply. To know of this news after the band jam i was really lost i nearly cried and got worried !! But i guess i have failed and will never ever have a nice relationship that i have all along trying to search for...!

I believe in God i know his love will never die but humans love will not last even when two are deeply in love... The only thing that helps a relationship going is true friendship and trust with this two the love will stay until we part to heaven....I'm not a perfect man and i will never be one it seems i did many wrong things in life and i willing to change for God all I'm asking this time round is a final chance to get things right and not wrong ! So God do help me and to be strong in my words to you and my promise i made to you,only you have the heart of forgiveness...
I will still pray for estee as i will never forget and no matter what my girl i will be there for you ok? even when you hate me and find me an ASS i will be there my heart will never change on the love you have given me this joy is something i never had for a long time. All this words are from the bottom of my heart Thank You but
i will be there for you please talk me ok?

Estee when you read this please remember i still missed you dearly and SORRY for everything !!

My name on the sandwich haha
and the sandwich was great thanks to Mr Jon at new york new york !!

Life are mostly Planned by God... But there are a small chance for a Surprise in all of our life

2008-02-18T23:48:00.004+08:00

One thing i love going the RoundBox( the place where my band jams) Is the free MAKAN !! Man the food was great You know why?

Free !! That is why ! HA HA
But honestly it was nice and the band had a nice meal we sat and ate if up like a group cheetahs eating up all the left-OVERS!! ha ha

I made the last adjustments to the band's poster with the new additional member Denise !! HA HA things seems to finally get better the band is now moving to the direction i was hoping for at the new year !! So people be ready a new cool and hype up band is coming into your local scenes !!

Well i enjoyed Saturdays firstly i can be myself and be crazy ha ha !! Have friends i can really chat with not that i don't have friends i do HA HA .. But is the special bond i have for years with some of the guys in my band and newer bonds with new friends too like Joan , Yating & Denise.

Last Saturday we went to hooters !! the girls where like WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! haha sorry Estee but is nothing just had dinner that was all the bill was killing us besides the A** and the B***S of the ladies but most of them were like forgettable faces only for a sweet girl called MIKI !! ha ha

One of the best day i had with the band too bad Joan , Yating & Denise were not there haha but I'm sure there will be times like that again soon !! i LOVE SATURDAYS!!
AND looking fot this coming saturday !! Denise first appearances in RB !!

CRAZY ANNIE !!

2008-02-15T23:22:00.004+08:00

There is a new student in ITE Amk... Full name : Annie Chang Anli Age :19 and loves to dance to Pussy Cat dolls songs !!
ha ha

this is the other crazy side of me or rather the female side or gayish side of me !!

haha i'm been really crazy this past few days at school ha ha but pure fun

And Thanks to Li Juan,Fiona, Nadiah, Phillis , Ron and Lastly Han Hui aka the bouncer !! Someone whom sheryl loves dearly ) for helping to put up the photography Club notice board and i think( seriously is nice and Mr Ismail likes it !!

WE are hoping Denise can join the band as i feel she is someone who can click and bring the band to a much higher level !! She can sing TOO !!

Tomorrow is the very first time we are meeting her i must be in my best behavior no spitting or BUGGERING !! ha ha

BUT MAYBE I CAN BRING ELMO !!

A LOOK ALIKE FOR ONCE !

2008-02-12T21:47:00.001+08:00

This few days and weeks tons of people are crazy over the sandal of Edison Chen and some famous actress whom he had S** with well i'm bored about it but was amazed by the number of hot babes he can hook up with DAMN!! haha
Though i have not seen the pictures but i was told that he loves to look at the camera maybe his been into too much acting so looking to the camera has been a habit !!

And guess what i cut my hair today took a picture and found out i have a half died face like Edison Chen did when he was doing his apology video to the media !!

Enough of all this stuff things are getting very quiet in my classroom two of my teachers are sick and been very busy school have become a rather stupid place to go and seriously there is nothing to do today AT ALL!! thank god i was not there ha ha... But u have been praying for the quick recovery of Miss Fee and Mr Jon poor teachers working their heads off for work and got sick !!
Things i will never do from now on

BE

A

ITE Teacher !!

There is a new wave of spam messages on denise , darryl , joan and my friendster ha ha
We are sending lame messages to each other and boy oh boy it is sure fun !! i have a new PIMP JOAN... I was told that i will be paid $10 per hour to anyone who need my service and darryl seems interested !!

Happy CNY !!

2008-02-07T19:49:00.000+08:00

Guess this is the most boring or common phrase that you people will be hearing ha ha... I'm always excited for the NY especially i'm able to spend more time with my family and my relatives !

Not really about the ANG BAOs ! (well is free money you know) But running around with your parents seeing them able to recall about their childhood stuff, like my mum today saying about my Fourth Auntie..

My Mum's side
My mom said she and her another younger sister always call her one of the kings of the under-water world...Cause my 4th auntie always have a cool dark ash red dyed hair when we go and visit her ! Plus her voice is like a HI 5 maxed up plus super bass surround sound added in.

But all are cool people my mum's side are the super hyper funny branch always laughing out SUPER Loud and cracking HOKKIEN jokes !! And playing the most famous games of all during CNY meeting !! Bun Luck ( not sure about the spelling) well in English terms is called blackjack !!

Though I not really allowed to bet or play but i really enjoy seeing and cracking jokes with my aunts !! ha ha things i will never ever forget about !

My dad's side
My dad's side is a more calm and peaceful one... No bun luck no majong!! Just plain chatting and catching up of times well at times is bored but still is a healthy habit !And at times disturbing my younger ones !! that is the cool part !!

Well I'm hoping to get things right this year with my band and school stuff i believe before i go into the army i must do well for my ITE so i can go to a poly once I'm not for the 2 years !

Furthermore i need to be able to go to my church to help out after the Chinese new year my church needs people now so i my do my very part as a member and a believer !

SO EVERYONE HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MAY ALL YOUR WISHES FOR THE NEW YEAR COME THROUGH AND SO AS MINE TOO !!

Back And All Fired Up !!

2008-02-05T17:58:00.000+08:00

Finally I'm back blogging after all the times i have spent on my final year project working title Love 101 the film.. This film will be out maybe not as early as expected though i was hoping it would.. Anyway the film is about three Youngsters whom have different thoughts and needs of love some for family, some for social care and others for passion...Further details of the film will be reported but i really enjoyed the film and the times we had with the crew and cast, the fun and laughter was great !!

Other places in my life have a new chapter..

Love life?
ha ha dating is the only thing i have now though Estee is someone who had showed me lots of love and care but at times the other relationship experiences i have pounders me a lot.... But dun worry the care i have shown are real and i enjoyed the times we have !! Thanks and more will come that i am very sure :)

Band Wise !!
Been going around places where i would never thought of going for band scouting. DXO is one of those places.. I'm not a rocker or hardcore metal crazy wannabe so I'm not too sure about the places where this bands go to perform, not a huge fan and never will be...
Some cool bands are like Joan's friends and the last band which i have forgotten the name was cool great energy and Guitar riffs ! That alone drive many youths at DXO crazy !! Wonder why the screaming or just the music !! OR the guys !!
Things i can't understand when have generation gap with the youths and due to the music i have been exposed to at the beginning career as a band singer was no where near there !! Sting, Clapton , Santana and bee gees looks like a dying art.
Well at least i and Darryl have finished writing a full of energy and hyper head banging and heart beating song... Drive is the title I'm really hoping this song can give a new hope and feel to the youth that SEX,LIES, Cigar & Satan should be out of their lives !! I'm rather worried for them but at the mean time i want to change my life style and be a great role model though is hard but i have God and friends on my side.......
Youth may not know the BIG differences between Satan and GOD... The freedom and and being a puppet. GOD don't control his children while Satan controls you and gives you your desires for a outcome.

BEWARE BANDS WHO ARE ANTI CHRIST I just going to say to you guys may the good lord be with you and bless you...

Drive Lyrics

Verse 1
Wake up to the sound of cars,
Felt like I'm totally lost.
In a world I have never been,
Somewhere you can only bring to...

Verse 2
Standing in the line of life
Been searching around to find
The thing i lost... YEAH

Pre chorus

But You can only make me feel
A love to me so real !!

Chorus

Drive me home , Don't wanna be alone( don't wanna be) x 2

Verse 3
Remembering all the things i lied
Sex, drugs and fights
makes me feel so tired
All this i can leave behind !!

Verse 4
Standing in the line of life
Been searching around to find
The thing i lost... YEAH

Pre chorus
But You can only make me feel
A love to me so real !!

Chorus

Drive me home , Don't wanna be alone( don't wanna be) x 2

I'm hoping to record this song and put it up on my blog and on myspace which i am having lots of problems with !! DAMN!!!!

Upcoming songs we are writing are called Beautiful Mistake a song by Yating our band mate and a featured song which is written by Janson called the stars are blue tonight.

This is what i have been waiting for and i believe we will rock DXO, TIMBER , Ben & Jerry and most importantly Esplanade to the MAX... To me i can only do all this thanks to the love and faith i have in God !!

Beware Of The New Kid on the Block!

2007-12-07T11:12:00.000+08:00

Hey Yishun and Swembang Folks BEWARE BE VERY VERY VERY AWARE HAHA... A New Kid is on the Block !! well moved in to Swembang new condo called Seletaris. Well is ok so far though i was very depressed when i first went home, everything was like a rubbish bin!! BOXES everywhere and is like damn dusty and haizz no COM !! haha...

So far is rather fine i know my dad, mum, sijie(hopefully my Da sao) and my brother have not been sleeping well as there is lots of things to be done.....Well i feel just very weird as this is my very first time moving house so i'm feeling left out at times and most importantly i felt like i'm a Out of town guy moving into the city !! Yup everyone do look at me like a very weird way not much friends and NO GIRLS ! haha jking !!!

Well No more trip to KL or Malaysia so save a bit of money but this is sure going to be a long and boring holiday...Chrismas seems like is going to be a pain and boring one again... hMm the good old days seems to have all gone haiz...

I'm feeling lonely to be honest hoping to make more friends in swembang or my new condo even though most of them are much much younger than me but i love the YOUNG haha the kids at my condo are boy O boy sure cute haha... well Hope i don't pinch them to deaTH!!!

Mr Lonely signing off..........

Movie TRIVA

2007-11-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

My first Movie trailer ha ha some say good some say no but everybody have a part to play just watch the trailer and give comments !!! Sound familiar? ha ha Thanks to Gurmit Singh There is a rap ha ha.....

Anyway this is my First draft...
Mr Jon say is not so interesting so i want to change and improve on it til it looks like a real movie trailer ha ha....

Real Test Ahead

2007-11-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

My test of will power !!
Well the real test is ahead. Like my project to see if i'm able to be cool and calm unlike the last time?
Also the ideas and confident i have if it can really work out and be paid off at the end of the year....
This are real test ahead... More will come being able to be patient to teach others in my guitar lesson, the mission trip that i been looking forward to so much and lastly i'm moving house !! ARHH!!! dunno if i can suit into the new life and also if there are new friends? hmmm
All of this are really a big test to me...

Well i have a wish list to make now
even though i used to think is stupid for people to do that but hey why not give it a try as i'm equally stupid haha...
1)My Xbox 360 (repairs $200+$70 worth of games i'm looking FOR!! )
2)My Camp fees $15 and maybe more !!
3)Mission trip travel expenses and also SHOPPING !!
4) Maybe a bike haha begin to enjoy cycling haha
5)ha ha the ELMO puppet i really adore !!
6)A Cannon D40 SLR camera at $1800

That will be all haha ya also my groups filming budget ha ha about $20++

Film Making = Life Changing

2007-11-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

Next Film Project
This next short film that I'm going to do with my group is, a simple but yet interesting one.
Is about "LOVE" though is a common topic for lots of movies and films but I'm going to try the most challenging task to put 6 different views of loves to link it as a whole and people would look at it and feel the different types of Love that can be shared.

I have not much experience in directing but i really hope that my work would be a far more decent film from any DAVP (Digital Audio and Video Production) in ITE and the Polytechnics in Singapore. Some may say i'm cocky and too naive but i'm confident anyone have an equal chance if the same amount of hard work is put in.So when i post my film on youtube or my blog h aha give your honest comments !!

Anyway i just want to know if there is people who view my blog often ha ha cause i would really love updating it often for you guys to read if you do please say i do on my tag board ok?

Believing in God

2007-11-15T11:05:00.000+08:00

Well sorry guys have not updated my blog since a long time...ha ha well been very busy over some stuff like my guitar lesson which start a week ago but none came only for the two students i had before very very disappointed but i still have to give my best to them. Furthermore i been praying for a lot of people like Jin Poh , Cheryl and Alicia my mei. I really hope that this Sat they all can come and enjoy themselves maybe this could be their first step to know more about God or even go back to the arms of our father...

Honestly i felt lost at times over various matters like after my ITE where will i go after i go into army can i be able to go to Ngee Ann Poly? Guess not need O level cert..Or would i just rot and be a no body? When can i play and sing for my church during worship with my band mates all for the devotion to God but not for music?

Will Joan join my band? Will Elaine still be in the band? When my band can have more gigs?
Would i be missed if i really just shut down one day and not help anyone for once? Would people really think and say where is ansel i really need him?

Well i learned that all this problems i can only lift it to my Father God to help me and give me the wisdom and strength to overcome it.

School started alright have done my projects but now i need to worry about my year end project hmm hope i will not screw it up like the last time...
Anyway this are the few projects on video editing i have done during class

All the videos are there the music and stuff but i have to put them all together like what we see on BBC or Discovery Channel.

This is just the Introduction for a short edit
on the Great Sahara

A Documentary on Sea World

2007-11-05T21:27:00.000+08:00

AFRAID
I'm Scared very Very scared... Haiz how would my students think of me Lousy teacher or Good teacher.. That i'm always worried about. But i'm going to be as friendly and helpful to my students hope that would allow them to be more open and can treat me more like a friend instead like a teacher...

NEEDS
Most of the students are Youths but i'm really hoping for more people to join best 10 so i can have more things to prepare and Always MONEY !! I REALLY NEED It as my xbox360 is down haiz... Miss it a lot..!

Happiness
Today had a long day and a long weekend with Darryl and Ravin really enjoyed it a lot. These two friends or bros i have are the only two that i can be myself and share my problems and they would advise me with good advises that really help.

Sadness
I really don't know why i feel emo everything i see my ex's pictures and feel very very lost and sad to have other guys liking her... Maybe i still miss her or maybe i'm jealous because i and her cannot last... Haiz i really don't know why i wan to be happy like i used to be? Is that really so hard..?

Misses
Cheryl is someone whom i feel nice being with her but i want to take things slowly but i'm very afraid she would not wait for me and come to my church more often... Even i don't have much power to help others. I love helping others but it don't seem to turn out well always my tone or the way i speak tend to make them hate me....

This is my project on editing i have decided to make a video on poverty as i feel that is the only problem that is really needed to be addressed to the whole world..

The Artist is John Mayer. Song title : Waiting On The World To Change

Ansel's Chatter Box

2007-11-01T18:05:00.001+08:00

Get Your Own Chat Box! Go Large!

My Bands New Banner !! haha

2007-10-31T15:57:00.000+08:00

This is my new bands banner ha ha i was bored at home and just wanted to do a little something, so i did this ha ha. Well i having another voting system what u think of the pic nice or not? You can give comments too !

Also i will have more voting questions, about what should i do or not to do and i will follow the peoples highest votes for advise. Anyway this is a new thing not much people may like it but i am just trying things out !!

Voting Questions
1) Is it annoying to have this voting comment thingy going around?

2) How to improve my Bands Banner?

Voting Questions are at the bottom of the page

Heart Broken...

2007-10-28T22:30:00.000+08:00

Crossing My Fingers HARD !!

2007-10-22T00:53:00.000+08:00

To be honest with you guys, the guitar course really do need more people and i really do not know where to get or to start giving my flyer's... I feel that i will be very disappointed with the number of people joining up this course haiz.. How i wish the response will be better but i have to pray and still there are only 2 more weeks to go. But i have only 4 students MAX, which i wanted to have at least 7 or 8 but looking at the rate of the sending of flyer's I'm very worried

Well This few days been very bored... Felt very alone again but i guess maybe i think too much or maybe not? I called Elaine today and chatted a little when i started to feel sad again, i really do not know why i felt like that. I just hope i never made her pissed cause i SMS her saying that once couples break for me i never treat them like strangers she never replied me =(
Sorry if i did made you angry just i felt very lonely this few days and you never SMS or call me ever since the time we broken up. Wish you all the best and take care of your health okay?

MONEY REALLY NEEDED MY BANK ACCOUNT NOW ONLY HAVE $60 PLUS !!!
I NEED TO REPAIR MY XBOX360 AND WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH IT"S GOING TO COST!
I NEED TO BUY A CAMERA SO THAT I CAN TAKE MORE PHOTOS WHICH I LOVE TO DO!

I FINALLY BOUGHT MY MP3 THAT I NEEDED SO AT LEAST I CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC EVERYWHERE I GO NOW.

ALL IN ALL I NEED CASH ASAP !!!

Guitar recuritment !!

2007-10-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

Guitar lessons for beginners!

Learn Guitar Through a Fun And Easy Way!

Master how to play basic Guitar chords and basic strumming over a short period of 2Months!! For ONLY $40.00!
4 lessons per month and over a period of 2 months you will be able to play your favorite songs.
If you bring one friend along now you will get a 5% discount and if you bring 2 or more friends to register you get up to 10% discount! Max

Ansel Chang the course trainer have played in bands and have more than 2 years of guitar experience, and is more than willing to teach anyone who is interested in guitar. =) To register call Ansel: 98781050

The lesson will be conducted at Jericho Youth Centre on Fridays from 4 pm to 5.30.

Blk 241 Bishan Street 22 #B1-236

Goal for this lessons:
Students in this guitar lesson will be able to learn basic gutiar knowledge ,

strumming and chords structure. After 2 months of lessons,students will be able to

play basic guitar and be able to read guitar chords and tabs.Furthermore, the

students will be able to have a chance to learn different genre of musics like jazz,

pop ,blues and country.This will be taught in a fun and yet enjoyable way.Useful

worksheets and notes will also be given to all students so they will be able to

learn more.

Over the 1 to 2 months period, students are able to choose songs which they like and

will be taught to them, this would allow students to be able to play and sing along

to their favourite songs while learning.

First Month
Lesson 1-2 : Introduction of the guitar and how to play a guitar properly.In

addition, students will be taught on how to read guitar chords and

tabs.

Lesson 3-4 : Learning how to tune a guitar through a tuner.Furthermore, being able

to play basic minor and major chords.

Second Month
Lesson 1-2 : Students will be taught on how to strum according to drum beats plus

knowing how to do manual tuning.

Lesson 3-4 : Mastering to play basic chords and basic strumming, reading of tabs
and chords and lastly, knowing how to tune a guitar with and without a

tuner.

Stepping Up!

2007-10-15T19:07:00.000+08:00

After all the pain i have been through i will now step up and really try my best to work and listen to God more.... Things do not seem to be going well honestly i need to pray and have faith in god cos i now need $ for myself and also for my church however, i don't seem to have anyone who is interested in joining the guitar basic lesson....This i really pray and wait for God to provide for me the people is also best if i can reach out to them to join my church service....!!!

I have some tough decisions that i find very hard to make but i need someone's guidance to led me on and help me i would feel must more happy if i do so however i really dunno how to ask and say to ha ha..Do pray for me !

Today i started my school and i have two more new teachers well, i feel their alright i was thinking the 2 new teachers maybe the strict ,old and naggy type but hey guess what the total opposite ha ha but i must speak more Chinese to them because their from Hongkong.... Well honestly i felt a bit lonely today. I still feel that the person whom i had arguments with over the video production seems still angry or have the hatred... I honestly feel sad and fed up as i am able to do much better for the project by was really misjudged by some of my team-mates i'm not saying i'm not at fault at all but i felt that my words meant nothing and my post or my say in the team may change because of the pass misunderstanding i really dunno how to face her and dunno what to say haizz... I'm looking forward now to holidays but not school....

THE WAIT IA ALL OVER !!

2007-10-10T20:40:00.000+08:00

Finally it is over....

The times i cried and the tears that i have shed are finally dried and the love she had for me is no longer like as sweet as the sugar bread that we once loved to eat. Well she told me that is better to be friends and the feeling is not going upwards but downwards. Today i will not cry or feel sad. The point of all this is i made a new friend whom i once love so much but can't be together as love can't be forced. I believe we can still meet up and chat but this i just the beginning for me i had this inner voice which i thought was not the words of God but now i believe it is i have to put down this past and rise up to walk along with God. The struggle i have and the prayers i prayed for are now answered.

But did i ever did my part not at all for God to be honest....

No !
Now i have a part to play in my life and my church i believe things will work out as what God want my church to be and I'm going to do my very best to walk and talk to God over this period of time.
Things may change but one thing that will never change is the love of God he had and now still have for me.
I believe i will do him proud and let others see what great miracles he had done before and bless them with the care and love he have given to all of us.

To me she is someone whom i gave my all but i am very happy that she never lied to me at all. That alone made me very happy unlike the past BGR i have this is the most loving and cheerful girl i have ever met and i really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Elaine Your Always Good To Me. And I Will Be There For You Always! =D

NOTE TO EVERYONE THERE WILL BE A GUITAR TEACHING SESSION BY ME AT BISHAN IF YOUR INTEREST PLEASE CONTACT ME TO MY TAG BOARD OR MY FRIENDSTER. ANYWAY I NEED A BASSIST PLEASE GOD FIND SOMEONE FOR MY BAND SO THAT WE CAN REALLY START WORKING FOR PERFORMANCES AND GIGS !!

Back And Going For More !! =)

2007-10-07T17:49:00.000+08:00

Florence, Me, Rebecca and Yee hua at the mall !

It's Not Over Till Everything is Done !!

Finally after a week at Malaysia I'm back..... However i really missed the place a lot is not totally about the food but most importantly is the people....Gua Musang is a great peaceful place i never ever seen such a place with friendly people all living so happily and stress free unlike Singapore. Also in Kota Bharu the youth in the church called CRC (City Revival Church) are i could say super hyper active and really loves talking a lot and taking many pictures but sadly i only was there for about a day. But glad to know that i'm going back to KB soon on Dec 13th i will flying there and performing and having a youth camp for the youth and also to get to know them better !! = ) that is something I'm surely looking forward for !
Well through this trip i have learned how much we need to believe in god and how to open our eyes as so we can be great and good Christians to our Father. This trip made me so touched that i wanted to set my commitment to help out more and to know more about the people in Gua Mu Sang and KB. Now this time I'm going to learn Malay !! ha ha is hard but i will do my very best!!
Things seems rather weird but is fine now i guess i'm trying to be just like a normal friend to her but i find it hard well i been praying hard and so i have to believe in God and once it is over i'm sure i will be happy !! =)

i'm leaving to Malaysia soon...

2007-10-01T13:07:00.000+08:00

Most importantly i can't bear not being able to hear her voice or even call or meet her Haiz..

But yesterday night we mange to have a nice chat and she nearly wanted to surprise me by

coming to my place for awhile but her friend only can drive her home or to my place. However,

to me i felt happy and yet disappointed because i was really hoping see her before i leave for

my mission trip.

All i can say is I still want to sing the SUPERWOMAN and be there for you always!

I Really Miss You A Lot this Few days !!

Things Changes

2007-09-28T10:45:00.000+08:00

Today or rather yesterday is going to be a weirdest day my life.It seems different now she says she needs time to be alone and things between us just become on hold. Everything now is on standby mood is either going to be better or things just fade away. This few days is really a challenge and is a big test to me..... However i feel like saying that i will not give up i believe that there is something in her that still feels for me even if it left about 0.0000001% i will still try my best!!

The joy she brings.....

Always......

Never........

Seems.....

to End

Loves,

Ansel

I'm sorry if i did stupid things

I'm sorry if i ever cursed you

I'm sorry if i ever stress you

I'm sorry if i ever made you sad

I'm sorry if i made you pissed

And

I regret not being fun to be with

I regret not letting you know how much you meant to me

I regret not holding you tight enough

I regret not being able to let you smile when you needed them

But i never regret knowing you as your always as pretty and sweet to me

Things may change for the better or worse but i will always still stand by

You and that is My promise......

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U

= )

Sorry for need updating my blog haha..

2007-09-23T12:44:00.000+08:00

Well not much pics to take though just a group picture with the Cool RCIA ppl

Now busy with my band and also with my PAPA's F N B store at SMU ha ha is ok though just been a very long time not going there not too used to it and the main thing is the ppl there works more hard than me ha ha so sometimes makes me feel i don't do much ... ( Well maybe because it is their job i'm just helping out ha ha)

Next Week i should be going to Malaysia again for mission work so kind of hoping things will not cock up again like the army not letting me the permission to leave Singapore for more than 24 hrs... That is the main worry though....

Things between Elaine and me are much better after the stupid lame quarrel we had over nothing and after a few hours we chatted like as if nothing happen and were laughing our ass off Ghosts ha ha.. However i really begin to treasure her more and more i felt sad and very bad if she left me...( This is link to the stupid dream i had about she choosing Chris which i never met before but i know he used to like her) ha ha but all i want to say to my Dar is SORRY and i will always love you for who you are and i really want to keep you by my side always if possible after the quarrel i felt i cannot be happy at all if i do not have you by my side.. Thanks for loving me Dar !! = )

A Day Out With Dar...

2007-09-11T10:55:00.000+08:00

I had a wonderful time with her ... I felt so happy and the joy of having someone in your arms who loves and cuddle you back feels so good. I'm so glad i have found her...I really want to thank her a lot for the joy she have brought to my life =)

We met up at 12.30 at city hall spend a long time walking and joking about stuff the people and other stuff soon i started taking out my camera and started snapping tons of pictures... Soon After having Our Lunch at LJS and laughing our ass off about Hum Dee Dumb Tee i brought her to the rooftop garden and have a quiet time together after that she became my model ha ha...I love taking pictures with her felt that we can bond together more !! ha ha

After that we wanted to go to the Esplanade for more quiet time as well as MORE PHOTO TAKING HA HA>> Spent a rather long time at there snapping the right photos and we loved every moment of it... Time really do fly when your enjoying or with a love one soon it was 6.30pm i need to leave for my singing lesson sad though i really could not bear living her honestly.... But anyway i'm very HAPPY !! HA HA LOVE YOU !!

My trip photos Hehe...

2007-09-10T15:16:00.000+08:00

Photos at our stay and photos of our sunrise !! ^.^

Through this trip i have learnt a lot i finally had a great rest and felt super relaxed even though is just a day away from Singapore but i felt that time was on my side it went very slow i can sleep and wake up just realizing 10 mins have passed by only.

Things i got from the trips tons of nice call pictures and also a nice good sun tan that i always wanted hehe.... that alone made me so pleased ha ha...

Finally I'm in love ! !

2007-08-28T18:18:00.000+08:00

Her best friends from CEMTA...

My Dar and Serene

My Dar and Me ha ha ( too dark though)

Her Friend Apple and my Dar Elaine

My Dar and Serene

Photos of my dar dar..)

It all started on 11th August 2007...

My heart was racing very very fast as fast as the MRT train heading to AMK MRT that is where she is meeting me. I was so nervous and i had butterflies flying all around my stomach ! Ha ha well she was wearing her yellow shirt and brown pants with a pair of black and white covered high heels... Everything seems to be so clear until now since it all happened 2 weeks ago.....!!

Honestly i'm very happy spending my time with her. The topics seems very lame and stupid but i and her seems to have that click when we first chatted on the phone and cracking lame jokes....But i enjoyed every moment i spent with her honestly i was super happy when she said she liked me too ha ha... I was glad i can have this chance to be with a sweet caring and cute and pretty and ( too many things to say lar ha ha) girl to be my Girlfriend !

Her smile and hugs Gives me a kind of love feeling that i was always looking for ^.^ I still remember telling her the Durian and Rambutan Joke that crack her up so bad and also about the Da Guen Guen ha ha but those jokes are very important to me honestly that jokes made me found someone so special to me and i will forever treasure her and i will not let her cry That i PROMISE !! DAR I REALLY WANT TO THANK YOU FOR GIVING A CHANCE TO SHOWER MY LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR VERY IMPORTANT TO ME I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN OK? WINKS

Smiles ^.^

2007-08-09T19:15:00.001+08:00

Photo of the day !! My product shoot !!

Well the shout out is over i got the last place haha... but is ok i enjoyed my time and made new friends that i think is the most important and thanks for everyone who supported me !! haha
I congrat the winners !! haha and thank all the ppl in charge of it and the judges !!

Looking forward for my band future haha... Pray hard that everything will go well !!

Computer hacker!! haha....

2007-07-26T16:22:00.000+08:00

Picture of the day !! (Me in a 70s photo style haha...)

I hacked into the very top secret organistation today, and i managed to know what are the prizes that will be given out on the finals of Shout Out.. haha well i never hacked but i was in the project lab to day and i used a computer which i believe is one of the school counsellor's. So i know almost everything on the day...

Previewing data. . . . . .

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National Day cum Talent Time Concert

Celebration of National Day as well as performance.

Overall in Charge: Joshua
Asst Overall in Charge: Taufik, Sheryl

Date: 9 August 2007
Venue: School Hall
Duration: 2h

8.00am Report to school (National Anthem and attendance taking)
8.30am Go to the hall
9.00am National Day Celebration
9.30am SHOWDOWN ( all 6 teams will be performance)
10.30am Special Performance (while waiting for the judges to choose the best performance)
11.00am Dismissed

Competitors: 6 teams
2 groups to perform the Special Performance while waiting for the judges to choose the
best performance

Roles needed on National Day:

-MCs
-Decorator
-PAs
-Performer
-Judges
-Motivator
-Prize Giver

Audition:

10 days before National Day. Looking at all the performances
5 days before National Day. Rehearsal

1st prize $30 voucher, Singapore t-shirt, certificate for appreciating their performances.
2nd prize $20 voucher, Singapore t-shirt, certificate for appreciating their performances.
3rd prize $10 voucher, Singapore t-shirt, certificate for appreciating their performances.

Haha finally i'm a computer genius !! Just kidding lame me honestly i just saw the file called PLANNING FOR NATIONAL DAY... HAHA That is how i get it!!

http://lionsgate.com/war/war_trailer.swf" width="640" height="272" \>

I'm in for the Finals!!! =P

2007-07-24T17:32:00.000+08:00

Photo of the day !! ( Matt piggy bagging me!)

AMK SHOOTOUT FINALS HERE I COME!!!
Finally i made it into a singing finals and i have something to proof to everyone that i can sing and i can do it ! ( I'm not being cocky ) I need lots of confident cause i never think positive of myself i'm really hoping i can be first but there are other ppl whom i think are good TOO !! haha So FRIENDS AND PEOPLE WISH ME LUCK !! ^.^

I have my very second chat with her online last night boy O boy I'm so happy haha i really hope she can pass me her no soon so that i will be able to chat with her !! ha ha even though she seems so busy at times but hey she chatted with me haha never did i think she would haha....>.< Well things seems to be getting better i hope lord will help me to keep this happy things going !! ha ha

Things to pray for....
- The 23 Korean Christians held hostage by the Terrorist please lord bless they and i ask all Christians to pray for their safety!!

Results show on MON live on ITE AMK TV!!

2007-07-22T18:18:00.000+08:00

Photo of the day(Finally a pic of me in Black and White)

Well finally the auditions are over, even though i never did my best which i hope i could but the main reason for me to join is to have more confident and also for that someone....
Saw her online but can't chat the message seems to keep bouncing back.Weird though well means I'm really not faithed really =( Then i kept trying til she appeared offline.. so i got a bit upset i wonder is it the MSN problem or she blocked me ? HMMM

Had a great weekend with my bro darryl.... HAHA B.O.S (Buddha Of Smell) the video i receive was very funny i and darryl laughed our brains out!! haha i now want the encore version HAHA
People who wants to make quick CASH just simply record a ok OR GOOD quality video of him and show me $5 will be given to the person on the spot haha.... Honestly I'm not joking i am really willing to pay the cash for B.O.S.....

New song to check out GUN N ROSES- November Rain i really hope i can sing this song well and have the outward bound youths going crazy is a damn hard song to be sang really go hear it on my music track !!

Photos of my band SAVING GRACE!! haha ( D'WeE BOLD!!!)

Thinking positive !!

2007-06-27T23:55:00.000+08:00

Photo of the day (Painting on water)

28 June 2007

After serious thoughts i have became more positive and don't want to force myself since i am not her type of guy i should just be friends i should not force her..... Things i learned from the past every time i made a quick decision i always end out with nothing anyway my friends are right what's mine is mine and nothing can run away so I'm just staying put and see how things goes!!

Blue skies make me feel happy my mood follows the weather so i manage to take some nice clouds and blue sky today with my school camera !! =)
Hope is still ok haha